姓名 … Annie·Braddock Name... Annie Braddock.
年龄 … 21 Age... 21.
兴趣爱好 … Area of interest...
人类学 anthropology.
描述一下与你期望发展方向 Describe your work experience
相关的工作经历 as it relates to your intended field.
老天 My God.
我该从何说起呢？ Where do I begin?
请注意 自然历史博物馆 Attention. The Museum of Natural History
将于15分钟后闭馆 will be closing in 15 minutes.
请用西侧的楼梯离开大厅 Please exit the hall
片名：保姆日记 by using the western staircase.
育儿问题在全世界范围内 Child-rearing around the world
催生出了各种各样的习俗 boasts a wide variety of customs and mores.
不过，或许最奇怪的社会行为 But perhaps the most bizarre social patterns
可以在曼哈顿小岛社区中找到 can be found within the small island community of Manhattan.
混蛋！ Asshole!
在这里居民被叫做上东阶级 The inhabitants of the region known as the Upper East Side
他们有着世界上最丰富 have the most prosperous, yet idiosyncratic
却最怪异的社交体系 social systems on the planet.
在成功的配对 After successfully mating
并生下后代之后 and producing offspring,
男人们通常就疏远并不管家事 the men are often distant and uninvolved,
任由他们的女人们去搜寻 leaving their women to hunt, gather
收集，以及为家庭补给 and provide for their families.
然而这些资源丰富的上东区母亲们 Yet the resourceful mothers of the Upper East Side
仍然有充足的时间 have plenty of time to participate
去参加各种各样性别分明的活动 in a variety of sex-role- specific activities.
其中包括，身体切割 These include body mutilation,
神圣的冥想 … sacred meditation...
… 甚至还有禁食仪式 ...even fasting rituals.
这些将我们把注意力转到育儿上 Which brings us to our focus on child-rearing:
到底谁来做？ Who actually does it?
在非洲，有一句话叫作 … Well, in Africa, they have a saying...
“整个村庄抚养一个孩子” "It takes a village to raise a child."
但在上东区里 But for the tribe of the Upper East Side,
只需要一个人 … it takes just one person...
保姆 the nanny.
好了，现在所叙述的 Okay, so what's depicted here
不是一个典型的社区仪式 is not a typical tribal ritual,
而是一个这样的保姆所面临的纠结 but rather the unraveling of one such nanny.
事实上，这个保姆就是我 Actually, this nanny is me.
而我为何在责备这只泰迪熊 And why I'm telling off a teddy bear is the subject
是这篇野史日记的主题 of this field diary.
如果碰巧我的报告陈词滥调 或者像流水帐一般 If by chance my report stereotypes or geographically profiles,
原谅我 forgive me.
因为我不是一个目标观察者 I'm not exactly an objective observer.
经济学硕士 副修关系学 Master in economics, minor in communications.
- 好！ - Elaine·Bassen - Yeah! - Elaine Bassen,
城市规划学位 副修社会学 honors in urban planning, minor in sociology.
Annie·Braddock Annie Braddock,
商业学高等学位 副修人类学 high honors in business, minor in anthropology.
现在我距离泰迪熊事件还有几个月 … So here I am a few months before the teddy bear incident...
哇！ Whoo-whoo!
… 新泽西本土女孩 ...a native New Jersey girl
参加一个可怕的“通过仪式”典礼 participating in a dreaded rite-of-passage ceremony.
- 咚！ - 哦上帝！ - Doh! Oh my God!
丢人！ Spazz!
这位是抚养我长大的女人 And here's the woman who reared me
基本上是独自抚养 pretty much all by herself.
她是个护士 She's a nurse.
注意看鞋子 Note the shoes.
这是什么？ What is it?
你会知道的 You'll see.
哦，哇 Oh, wow.
- 谢谢 - 我知道这不算很贵的东西 - Thank you. - I know it's not much,
但我想为你买你的第一套职业装 but I wanted to buy you your first business suit.
- 谢谢，谢谢你 - 当你成为一名著名的CFO之后 - Thanks. Thank you. - You can look back on this
- 你回顾往昔 - 哦，妈妈 - when you're a famous CFO. - Oh, Mom.
天，只是在高盛公司[Goldman·Sachs]面个试 Gosh, come on. It's one meeting at Goldman Sachs.
竞争很激烈，我也许永远不会得到这份工作 It's highly competitive. I'm probably never gonna get the job.
好了，别继续悲观了 All right, stop with the negativity.
你的父亲一直很悲观 看看他的处境 Your father was always negative and look where it got him.
在斯克兰顿的加长房车里 … 在斯克兰顿 - Double-wide trailer in Scranton. ...in Scranton.
亲爱的，我没有在开玩笑 Honey, I'm not kidding.
如果可以让我坐在你现在坐的位置 我愿意付出一切 I would give the world to be sitting where you're sitting right now.
你比我聪明多了 You are so much smarter than I was.
没有男人可以粉碎你的梦想 No man is gonna squash your dreams.
没人来告诉你你该怎样生活 No one's gonna tell you how to live your life.
你知道吗？ 也许我 … 也许我不是做CFO的料 Maybe I'm... maybe I'm not CFO material, you know?
如果我更适合做其他事情会怎样 … No, what if I'm better suited at something...
- 其他事情？ - 比如？ - something else? - Like what?
人类学？亲爱的 你如何用那个来谋生呢？ Anthropology? Honey how are you gonna make a living at that?
听着，如果你真的想围着草裙 跑来跑去 Look, if you really want to run around in grass skirts,
然后赚够去Club Med[全球度假连锁] 过圣诞的钱 then make enough money to spend Christmas at Club Med.
Annie，七点一刻了 Annie, it's 7:15.
快点否则你要迟到了 Get moving or you're gonna be late.
新泽西开往曼哈顿的PATH列车 New Jersey PATH train to Manhattan
驶达第二车道 arriving on track two.
哦 Oh.
新泽西开往曼哈顿的PATH列车 New Jersey PATH train to Manhattan
驶达第二车道 arriving on track two.
哦，上帝 Oh, goodness.
我不得不夸赞你这套行头，哇 I have to admire this corporate drag. Wow.
至少我没在早上八点还穿着昨晚的衣服 派对女 Well, at least I'm not wearing last night's outfit at 8:00 a.m., party girl.
还不如说你错过了一个美妙的超酷派对 Let's just say that you missed a fabulous throw-down
而且Tom·Waylan也去了 and Tom Waylan was there.
- 所以呢？ - 他问起你 - So? - He asked about you.
两次 Twice.
好吧，我得走了 All right, well, I gotta go.
- 现实生活在等着我 - 上帝 - Real life awaits. - God.
你知道吗 我打赌你所研究的那些文化 You know, I bet none of those cultures you study
统统都没有实践到这种 严酷的单身生活中 practice such rigorous celibacy.
- 你有没有听说过震颤教派？ - 听说过，但他们濒临灭绝了 - You ever hear of the Shakers? - Yes, and they're extinct.
抱歉，先生？先生 Excuse me, sir? Sir.
- 怎么？ - 我下错站了 - Yeah? - I got off at the wrong stop.
请问你能不能告诉我 Chambers大街在哪里？ Can you tell me where Chambers Street is, please?
你看到有着红色阳伞的建筑了吗？ You see the building with the red umbrella?
- 看到了 - 还要过去大概五个街区 - Yes. - It's about five blocks below that.
该死 Oh shit.
我们的经济分析师培训项目 Our financial analyst training program
是如此的有竞争性 is so competitive.
有超过8000个人 来应聘我们的10个职位 We have over 8,000 applicants for 10 positions.
所以，你为什么不用你自己的话 So, why don't you tell me,
来告诉我 究竟谁是Annie·Braddock？ in your own words, who exactly is Annie Braddock?
哇，这个 … Wow, that's...
这当然是一个很简单的问题 that's certainly an easy enough question.
恩哼 Mm-hm.
Annie·Braddock是一个 Annie Braddock is
一个善良的 … a kind...
嗯 … well...
我是 … I am...
继续 Go on.
嗯，你看 … Well, you see...
恩哼 Mm-hm.
我完全不知道 I have absolutely no idea.
抱歉 Excuse me.
谁是Annie·Braddock？ Who is Annie Braddock?
这都算不上是一道有陷阱的题目 It wasn't exactly a trick question.
但我仍然无法组织出一个答案 Yet somehow I couldn't formulate a response.
我当然知道所有的基本情况 … Of course I knew all the basic facts...
出生日期，家庭情况，社会经济结构 the date of birth, home town, socioeconomic makeup.
但我并不真的了解我是谁 我适合做什么 But I didn't really know who I was, where I fit in,
我想成为什么样的人 who I was gonna be.
我突然觉得很害怕 我也许永远无法找到答案 I was suddenly terrified I'd never find the answer.
我需要五卷前天晚上 从伦敦过来的织物 I need five rolls of fabric overnighted from London.
我不管要花多少钱 I don't care how much it costs.
#你是纯粹的纽约人啊 … # # Ooh #
# You're a native New Yorker... #
成为她怎么样？ How about her?
这个女人 … 她能成为Annie·Braddock吗？ This woman... could she be Annie Braddock?
#此时此刻你该明了# # You should know by now #
#你是纯粹的纽约人啊 … # # You're a native New Yorker... #
Hmm.
或者这位成为Annie·Braddock？ Or perhaps this is Annie Braddock?
#在地铁里穿梭成长# # You grew up riding the subways #
#和人群来来往往# # Running with people #
#上至哈林姆，下至百老汇# # Up in Harlem, down on Broadway #
#你迷失在阴影中# # There you are lost in the shadows #
#寻找着某些人# # Searching for someone #
#你是纽约城的灵魂 … # # You're the heart and soul of New York City... #
在那个春天的午后 On that spring afternoon,
我的未来似乎终于确定了 it seemed my future was finally set.
我要成为 一个在中央公园无家可归的老太太 A Central Park bag lady I would be.
至少我最终还能住在曼哈顿 At least I'd finally get to live in Manhattan.
但在我正式向命运投降之前 But before I officially surrendered to fate,
某些事 … 或者干脆说 某个人 … something... or rather, someone...
干预了进来 intervened.
Mmm.
- Whoa! - Ahh ahh!
你好 Hello there.
嗨，你还好吗？ Hi. Are you okay?
从我身上下来，你这个变态 Get off of me, you pervert.
有人带着你吗，小家伙？ Do you belong to anyone, little man?
- Grayer！ - 你带着我 Grayer! - I belong to you.
Grayer！ Grayer!
哦，上帝，太感谢你了 Oh God. Thank you so much.
你刚刚制止了一个小小的灾难 You just averted a minor disaster.
这个被特写的女人 … The woman featured here...
这位穿着Dior蛇皮夹克衫 the one wearing the Dior snakeskin jacket
脚穿LV鞋的女人 … and Louis Vuitton shoes...
很不幸，不是Annie·Braddock is unfortunately not Annie Braddock.
#纽约城的姑娘 … # # New York City girl... #
事实上 她是一个从上东区来的 She is, in fact, a perfect female specimen
完美女性范本 from the Upper East Side clan.
为了此项研究的需要 For the purpose of this case study,
我们暂且叫她，X女士 we'll just call her Mrs. X.
嗨，我是X女士 Hi, I'm Mrs. X.
请原谅我这个淘气的儿子 Let me apologize for my feral son.
哦，不用道歉 Oh, no need to apologize.
我喜欢孩子，我叫Annie Please, I love kids. I'm Annie.
你是个保姆？哦！ You're a nanny? Oh!
- 不，我不是 - 难怪 - No, I'm not. - No wonder.
- 你和孩子相处的那么好 - 哦，我不是 - You're so good with children. - Oh, I'm not.
事实上，我那位叫Bertie的保姆 刚刚决定不干了 Actually, I just lost my nanny Bertie,
因此我来到这个被上帝保佑的公园来 which is why I'm out in this godforsaken park
- 自己来 - 嗯 - by myself. - Okay.
- 她结婚去了，离开了我们 - 好的 - She left us to go get married. - All right.
哦，上帝，你 … 你被雇佣了？ Oh my God. Are... are you employed?
- 不，很不幸，我 … - 太棒了！ - No, unfortunately, l... - Fabulous!
看，这 … 这是我的名片 Look, here... here is my card.
拜托，拜托 在后半周一定打我电话 Please please please call me later this week.
我们安排个时间一起共进午餐 随便你想去哪 We'll schedule a lunch. Anywhere you'd like to go.
- 抱歉 … - Mark酒店，四季酒店 - I'm sorry... - The Mark, the Four Seasons.
抱歉，我不得不走了 我真的盼望着你来电 Unfortunately, I have to run, but I really look forward to hearing from you.
抱歉 … 我想你真的误会我了 I'm sorry... I really think you misunderstood me.
对于此我有很好的直觉 I have a very good feeling about this.
- 我 … - 给我电话 - I... - Call me.
不好意思 我不得已听到了你们的对话 Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear.
我也在找一个新保姆 I'm looking for a new nanny too.
- 哦我 … - 我能不能也给你张我的名片？ - Oh I... - Can I give you my card as well?
- 什么？ - 我付的薪水比市场价高出很多 - Excuse me? - I pay well above average.
- 我也有名片，打给我 - 我在Hamptons有地方 - I have a card too, call me. - I have a place in the Hamptons.
Donald·Trump[纽约地产大亨] 和我住在一幢楼 Donald Trump lives in my building.
似乎命运现在给了我 一个奇妙的选择 … It seemed that fate now offered me a wonderful alternative...
一个彻底摆脱我生活的机会 an opportunity to completely duck out of my life.
所以我决定，在这一个夏天 So I decided for one summer
放弃Annie to abandon Annie
并将她折抵成一个全新的人物 … and trade her in for a brand-new persona...
保姆 Nanny.
当然有一个小问题 Of course there was one tiny problem.
我所了解的关于保姆的一切 都来源于电影 Everything I knew about nannying came from the movies.
即便如此 我还是充满信心地睡着了 Even so, I fell asleep confident
认为我会奇迹般的知道该怎么做 that I'd magically find my way.
Annie？ Annie?
Annie！ Annie!
Annie？ Annie?
Ahh-hoo-hoo!
要脚踏实地，年轻的小姐 Get your feet on the ground, young lady.
Hmm.
对于我没有育儿经验这一事实 The fact that I had no child-care experience
对在东部上层阶级的妇人来说 没什么关系 mattered little to the matriarchs of the Upper East Side.
即便我没有工作 Even though I don't have a job,
我似乎还是没有足够的时间 留给自己 I just don't seem to have enough time for myself.
他们所需要知道的一切就是 我是白人 All they needed to know was that I was white,
一个大学毕业生 并且暂时单身 a college grad, and terminally single.
就如你所见 我和我丈夫 As you can see, my husband and I
正在闹离婚 are getting a divorce.
所以你和孩子在公寓里 So you and the kids must remain
必须一直呆在 on my side of the apartment
属于我的这一边 … at all times...
直到抚养权问题解决了 until the custody battle is settled.
哦 … Oh...
简而言之，我是保姆中的上品 In short, I was the Chanel bag of nannies.
我从小道消息上听来 I heard through the grapevine
你见了很多人 you've been meeting with a lot of people.
所以我想你也许更喜欢 在Bergdorf享用一顿有礼节的午餐 So I thought you might appreciate a civilized lunch at Bergdorf's
而不是在公寓里接受面试 rather than being interviewed at the apartment.
谢谢你，你考虑得真周到 Thank you, that's very considerate.
没什么，我只是喜欢在外面吃饭 Not really. I just love to eat out.
我也许会想出上百万个借口 I'll probably come up with a million excuses
使得我们可以出来吃午饭 for us to go have lunch.
我的意思是，如果你最终选择了我们 I mean, if you end up with us, I mean.
可以点菜了吗？ Ready?
你 … 你决定吃什么了吗？ Do... do you know what you're having?
我不想催你 I don't mean to rush you,
但我2点钟要去参加一个讲座 but I'm attending a 2:00 lecture
“超级妈妈，试着捣捣浆糊” "Super Mom, Trying to Juggle It All."
我就要一个汉堡 I'll just have the burger.
谢谢 Thanks.
我不能保证这里的肉 I can't guarantee that the meat here
是没有抗生素的 但这里的厨师来自布列塔尼[法国城市] is antibiotic-free. But the chef here is from Brittany,
所以我极力推荐布列塔尼可丽饼 请来双份 so I highly recommend the crepe Bretagne. Deux, s'il vous plait.
- 好的 - 选得很好 - Okay. - Excellent choice.
谢谢 Thanks.
你从新泽西来 You're from New Jersey.
很不幸 Unfortunately.
哦不，那个洲有很多好玩的地方 Oh no, there are some very lovely parts of that state.
我们的朋友在Saddle河上游 有一个马场 Friends of ours have a horse farm in Upper Saddle River.
- 真的？ - 恩哼 - Really? - Mm-hm.
我 … 我听说那里很漂亮 l... I hear it's really nice there.
也许某一天我会带你去那骑马 I'll have to take you riding there one day.
好的 Okay.
再告诉我其他的 Tell me more.
我想了解你的一切 I want to know all about you.
- 哦 … - 事实上，我从康涅狄格来 - Uh... - I'm from Connecticut, actually.
我上Smith学校 别信那些流言 I went to Smith. And don't believe the rumors,
我们并非都是女同性恋 we weren't all lesbians.
毕业之后 After graduation,
我搬到这里并开始经营Gagosian I moved here and started running the Gagosian.
一个画廊 The art gallery.
- 哦 - 那真劲爆 - Oh. - It was a blast.
但你真的 … 不能在抚养孩子的时候 But you really... you can't do that sort of thing
做那些事情 when you're raising a child.
派对，社交，旅行 … The parties, the schmoozing, the travel...
哦，很抱歉 … Oh, excuse me...
- 哦 - Bitsy - Oh. - Bitsy.
- 是你 - Bitsy - It's you. - Bitsy.
我很想打电话给你的 I've so been meaning to call.
我有没有什么可以帮忙的？ Is there anything at all I can do?
没有，除非你认识一个好男人 Not unless you know a hit man.
那个叫Jeanie·Whitman的律师 所推荐的毫无用处 That lawyer Jeanie Whitman recommended was no help at all.
我真为你难过 I am so sorry.
发现我们所有的地产 实际上都在Tucker公司的名下 Turns out all our assets are actually in Tucker's company's name.
我所能得到的全部 只是一幢价值百万的公寓 All I'm getting is a million flat.
那真是骇人听闻 That's appalling.
如果我早知道我们会有这么大麻烦 我也许会睁一只眼闭一只眼 If I'd known it would go this far, I would have just turned a blind eye.
不管怎样，在我没有毁掉你的午餐前 好好享用它 Anyway, enjoy the rest of your lunch before I ruin that too.
我这周晚些时候打电话给你 亲爱的 I'll call you later this week, sweetheart.
真没面子 Such a shame.
不过她应该知道会这样 … 至少其他人都看出来了 But she should have seen it coming... everyone else did.
算了，我们说哪了？ 哦，对 Anyway, where were we? Ah yes.
Gagosian之后 After Gagosian,
我就遇到了X先生 I met Mr. X.
你看，我祖母是个女佣 You know, my grandmother worked as a domestic
所以我们不必也如此 so we wouldn't have to.
而现在，你刚刚大学毕业 And here you are, fresh out of college
自愿去做保姆的活 voluntarily taking a nanny gig.
我告诉过你，这不是一份终生职业 I told you, this is not a lifelong commitment.
好吗？这只是让我思考清楚的方法 Okay? It's just a way for me to get my head together.
另外，报酬丰厚 Besides, the money is great.
我终于要搬去城市 I finally get to move to the city.
我要搬去城市读研究生 I'm moving to the city to go to grad school,
而不是去做某人的仆人 not to be somebody's servant.
另外，你知道你做的不对 否则你也不用对你妈妈说谎 Plus you know you're wrong, or you wouldn't be lying to your mother.
这一切发生的太快了 This is all just happening too fast.
我不明白你为什么不能在家住一段时间 I don't understand why you can't just live at the house for a while,
只是让你先准备好 just to get on your feet.
妈妈，我大学四年都走读的 Mom, I lived at home through four years of college.
你不认为那已经足够长了？ Don't you think that's long enough?
好吧，可你如何在那么短时间内 找到个好公寓呢？ Well, how could you find a decent apartment so fast?
银行提供，你知道的，很棒的项目 The bank has, you know, an excellent program.
他们安排我和一个培训生结对子 这样很好 They got me hooked up with a trainee, which is great.
我要上车了 I'm getting in the car.
我能和你一起去吗？ Can I come with you?
如果能至少让我看看你住哪里的话 我会觉得好很多 I would feel a lot better if I could at least see where you were living.
好啦，你知道吗，其他培训生 Come on. The other trainees, you know,
他们上那些很灵的寄宿学校 they went to fancy boarding schools
还参加一些欧洲交流项目 and European exchange programs.
如果我和自己的妈妈一起出现 我会觉得自己像个怪人 I show up with my mom, I'll just look like a big dork.
你说的似乎不错 Guess that makes sense.
过来 Come here.
我爱你 I love you.
我能看你的话马上告诉我 Let me know the minute I can visit you.
我到那了就给你电话，好吗？ I'll call you when I get there, okay?
#自由，自由 … # #Freedom, freedom... #
嘿，你要给我张票 Hey, you're gonna get me a ticket.
#自由# # Freedom #
#你终究将一切归还 … # # You got to give what you take... #
- 你疯了 - #自由# - You're crazy. - # Freedom #
- #自由 … # - 再唱一遍 - # Freedom... # - Sing it again.
#自由# # Freedom #
#你终究将一切归还# #You got to give what you take. #
我爱那首歌 I love that song.
我要告诉你，你像蜜蜂一样 I'm telling you, like the bees,
自由了，姑娘 you're free, girl.
没关系，我来拿，小姐 That's okay, I'll take care of it, miss.
哦，谢谢你 Oh, thank you.
我不能相信这个 我可以适应这些 I can't believe this. I could get used to this.
- 我告诉你 - 感谢上帝我将取得一个蹩脚的学位 - I'm telling you that. - Thank God I'm getting a shrink degree.
你知道吗，我爱你，但你很刺 You know, I love you, but you're harsh.
有那么一点 A little bit.
来给我一个拥抱 Just give me a hug.
我马上会见到你的，我肯定 Mwah! I'll see you soon, I'm sure.
Annie？ Annie?
你知道捷径吗？ You know the path of least resistance?
可以带你穿越一个雷区 It can lead through a minefield.
哦，嗨 Oh, hi.
你是新保姆？ You are the new nanny?
是的，你一定是Maria Yes, and you must be Maria.
很高兴见到你 - Nice to meet you. - Hmm.
我能进来吗？ Can I come in?
好的 Okay.
就放在那吧 Leave it there.
地板是干净的 The floor is clean.
Mmm.
这地方太不可思议了 Wow.
This place is incredible.
我希望你比上次那个做的久一些 I hope you last longer than the last one.
谁，Bertie？哦，对 Who, Bertie? Oh yeah.
X女士告诉我她辞职结婚去了 Mrs. X told me that she left to get married.
结婚？她约会了一次就被解雇了 Married? She had one date and she get fired.
哦，Maria？你能不能告诉X夫人我到了？ Oh, Maria? Are you gonna tell Mrs. X that I've arrived?
X夫人在逛街 Mrs. X is shopping.
但她在桌上给你留了张条子 But she left you a note on the table.
现在我要去吸尘了，好吗？ Now I have to go run the vacuum, okay?
Ay...
“亲爱的保姆 "Dear Nanny,
欢迎你！” welcome!"
请注意，从现在开始 Please make note that from here on in,
我被X夫人社交群里的所有人 叫做“保姆” I'm referred to as "Nanny" by all the people in the Xs' social network.
我很高兴你能来我这里工作 I'm so excited to have you onboard.
请随意 Please make yourself completely at home.
Manuel在给你做一套你自己的钥匙 Manuel is making you your own set of keys.
你明天就应该能拿到 Mmm. - You should have them by tomorrow.
冰箱里什么都有 The fridge is well-stocked.
豆腐肉排？ Tofu cutlets?
千万别客气 - Ugh. - Help yourself to anything.
讨厌 Yuck.
很抱歉我不能在家里迎接你 Sorry I could not be there to meet you
但我必须在我父母社交圈聚会之前 but I'm trying to squeeze in a little shopping
挤出一点时间购物 before my Parents' Society meeting,
这也提醒了我 … which reminds me...
请在2点15分整，去基督预备学校 … please pick Grayer up from the Christian preschool...
接Grayer放学 - Wow! ...at 2:15 sharp.
千万不能迟到 It's extremely important not to be late.
正如你所看见的 Ooh.
我附上了一份写着基本家庭规则的清单 As you can see,
I have attached a list of basic house rules.
- 你好，Manolo[昂贵女鞋品牌] - 我们相信，为了Grayer好 Hello, Manolo. - We believe it's important
在家里遵守一定的纲纪 to maintain some sense of structure in our home
是很重要的 for Grayer's sake.
第一条: Rule number one:
Grayer和他的玩伴永远不能 Grayer and his playmates are never allowed
到主卧里来 - in the master bedroom. - Oops.
当然，你也禁止到我们的卧室来 Of course, you should refrain from entering our bedroom as well.
第二条 Rule number two:
Grayer永远不被允许在白天打瞌睡 Grayer is never allowed to nap during the day.
不能打瞌睡？ No naps?
这会完全破坏他的睡眠安排 This throws his sleeping schedule completely off.
而且我希望到家时能看到他已经睡着了 And I prefer him tired when I get home.
第三条 Rule number three:
- 我们刚重刷了墙壁 - 然后呢 - we just had the walls redone. - Mm-hm.
所以千万注意别让Grayer蹭到它 Please keep Grayer from rubbing up against them.
- 倒霉！ - 第四条 - Oh! - Rule number four:
如果学校放假了 if school is ever canceled,
可以带Grayer去这些地方 … the following nonstructured outings are permissible...
纽约大都会歌剧院 the Met,
纽约摩根图书馆 the Morgan Library,
法国厨艺学院 the French Culinary Institute,
还有纽约证券交易所 the New York Stock Exchange.
第五条 Rule number five!
我们从不乘地铁 那儿的细菌实在是太多了 - we do not take the subway because of germs.
天哪！ Oh God.
第六条 Grayer还离不开婴儿车 Grayer still must be in a stroller
- 尤其是穿过游乐园或麦迪逊大街的时候 - 还有什么 - when crossing Park or Madison. - Blah blah blah.
第七条 要为Grayer的一日三餐准备 Grayer maintains
高蛋白素食 a high-soy organic diet.
第八条 Rule number eight:
一周内至少陪Grayer练三次法语 practice French with Grayer at least three times a week.
他父亲想让他进科立吉特学校 (纽约的一所著名私立男校) His father wants him to attend Collegiate
Grayer已经在候补名单上了 where he's currently wait-listed.
法语？老天啊 French? Holy merde.
要把Grayer的需要摆在第一位 His acceptance is a top priority.
上帝啊！ Mon Dieu.
保姆？ Nanny?
- 你在这儿做什么？ - 你留的便条上不是说 - What are you doing? - The note said
2:15的时候才去接Grayer吗 to pick up Grayer from school at 2:15.
没错 Hm.
而现在才 … 现在才1:00啊 And it's only... it's only 1:00.
因为收拾了好久，出了些汗 我想我可以 … So I was a little sweaty from moving and I thought that I would, you know...
这个我当然不介意，可我不知道你为什么 会在这儿洗澡？ What I mean is, what are you doing in that bathtub?
还有你的行李 And why are your bags
怎么会在客房里，还被丢的到处都是？ strewn all over the guest room?
我以为那是给我准备的屋子呢 I thought that was my room.
错了 No.
你弄错了，保姆 No, Nanny.
这才是你的屋子 This is your room.
哦 Oh.
好的 Okay.
恩，这屋子 … Yeah, this is...
很温馨 very sweet.
哎 Hmm.
打扰一下，现在几点啦？ I'm sorry. Do you have the time?
2:15 2:15.
那孩子们马上就放学了吧？ So they'll be getting out anytime now?
- 2:45才放 - 几点？ - 2:45. - I'm sorry?
他们每天2:45出来 They get out every day at 2:45.
傻瓜 Dumbass.
我很快就明白了一件事 It quickly became clear
那就是X太太准备差我到何地都必须 that Mrs. X had arranged for me to arrive everywhere
非常之早 torturously early.
注意啦，女士们，孩子们出来啦 Get ready, ladies. Here they come.
Grayer？Grayer？ Grayer? Grayer?
- Grayer，X？ - 你在找谁啊？ - Grayer X? - Who is it you're looking for?
- Grayer - 我认得他 - Grayer. - I know that one.
他常和我带的小怪物Darwin玩儿 He plays with my wee monster, Darwin.
- 嗨！ - 好痛！ - Hy-ya! - Ow!
Grayer你放学啦 Oh, Grayer, there you are.
嘿，小家伙，还记得我吗？ Hey, little man, you remember me?
当然，但我讨厌你！ Yes, and I hate you!
不会吧？你忘了我们处的还不错啦？ What? Come on, we get along great, remember?
我们是在中央公园碰到的吧？ Like when we met in Central Park?
让我帮你拿书包吧 Let me get your backpack.
来吧，Grayer给我吧 Stop. Grayer, stop.
救命啊，警察叔叔！她弄疼我了！ Help, police! She's hurting me!
- 小家伙们开头都这样 - 好像是啊 - They usually start out that way. - Yes.
- 救命，救命啊！ - 得多点耐心，懂吗？ - Danger, danger! - Just be patient, eh?
- 让我把你抱上婴儿车，怎么样？ - 会容易点的 - Let me put you in your stroller, okay? - It'll get easier.
- 请等一下下 - 小孩儿才坐婴儿车呢！ - Hang on one second. - I'm too big for a stroller!
- Grayer！ - 救命啊！ - Grayer! - Help!
- Grayer！ - 警察叔叔快来啊！ - Grayer! - Police.
Grayer！等等Grayer！ Grayer! Grayer!
Grayer！给我回来！ Grayer! Come here!
- 我讨厌你，我要Bertie！ - 我知道宝贝儿 - I hate you, I want Bertie! - I know, honey.
我知道你还离不开Bertie 可是Bertie马上要去结婚了 I know you want Bertie. Bertie had to leave to get married
或者是去约会或者干什么别的事了 知道吗？ or go on a date or something, okay?
但我保证会带给你快乐的 But I promise, we're gonna have a lot of fun together, honestly.
行了吧？现在让我好好看看 这个穿制服的帅小伙儿吧 All right? Now let me see how handsome you look in your uniform.
这是什么？ What's that?
- 让我看看 - 别碰它！ - Oh. - Don't touch that!
那是我爸爸的！我讨厌死你了 我要Bertie It belongs to my daddy! I hate you. I want Bertie.
Grayer Grayer.
当然，已经有人好奇 … Already, one had to wonder...
Grayer父亲的名片 what kind of culture would turn a father's business card
为什么会给孩子安全感？ into a security blanket?
我们到了 Here we are.
甜蜜的家啊 第一项任务总算搞定了 Home sweet home. First mission accomplished.
Grayer快起来，地板很脏的 Grayer, get up off the floor. It's very dirty.
我有个主意喔 Nuh-uh.
I have an idea.
要不要比比看谁先冲到家？ Why don't we race to the front door?
那么，你没发现地板上还有个臭鸡蛋 Okay, last one there is a rotten egg.
我才不会被你骗呢 你才不会真和我比呢 I'm not stupid. You're just gonna let me win.
我的脚力我还是相信的，先生 No, I am a mighty good runner, mister.
- 除非你的裤子没掉下来 - 糟糕！ - Not with your pants down. - Oh my God!
该死！推车！ Oh shit! The stroller!
该死！Grayer！ Shit! Grayer!
你讲粗话了，我会给我妈说的 You said a curse. I'm telling Mommy.
Grayer，不和你闹啦，快开门！ Grayer, I am not kidding. Open this door right now.
- Maria！ - 来抓我的手吧 - Maria! - Touch my fingers.
- 哎呀！ - 我可不会松手 … - Ow! - I am not letting go...
… 除非你把门打开！ ...until you open the door!
才不要！ Ow!
打扰下 … Pardon me.
这个车好像是Grayer的吧 I think this belongs to Grayer.
电梯把它送到12楼了 Rode the elevator to the 12th floor.
- 谢谢你 - 别客气 - Thank you. - You're welcome.
好吧，先不说了，我这出了点小状况 Sorry, we're having a little bit of a situation here.
还有，我的名字叫 … By the way, my name's...
鉴于我之前的贞洁誓言 Since my job required a vow of chastity,
很明显我得抛开那些私心杂念 it was essential that I avoided all intimacies,
尤其是男士的名字 especially first names.
既然是野史日记嘛 For the purpose of this field diary,
我就用“哈佛帅男”来称呼他了 let's just call him Harvard Hottie.
我是X家的新保姆 I'm the Xs' new nanny.
刚来而已，你可能已经猜到了 - Oh. - Very new, as you can probably tell.
我在脱衣服 I'm taking off all my clothes.
看来脱衣服在这层很流行啊 Seems to be popular on this floor.
介不介意我来试试？ Mind if I take a crack at him for you?
请便吧 Be my guest.
嗨，Grayer，我是楼上的朋友啊 Hey, Grayer, it's your pal from upstairs.
能够哥们儿点儿给我开开门吗？ Hey, would you be a sport and unlock the door?
把人锁在外面可不太够意思啊 It's not nice to lock people out.
怎么样，小老弟？ Please, buddy?
- 你好啊 - 你怎么来啦？ - Hey. - Why are you here?
我来是为了帮我的新朋友 Oh, I'm just helping out my new friend.
Annie Annie.
Annie Annie保姆 Annie. Annie the nanny.
她是你朋友？ She's your friend?
当然啊，她不也是你的朋友吗？ Yes, she's my friend. Isn't she your friend too?
我还不觉得 Not yet.
- 谢啦 - 乐意效劳 - Thank you. - Anytime.
就在一天之间 我这个臭名昭著的离群索居者 Suddenly the world's most notorious loner
生活中竟一下子闯进两个男人 had two new men in her life.
不幸的是，那个大家伙是不可以去想的 Unfortunately, I knew that the big one was off-limits.
基于我以往的观察 Based on my observations,
只有在校园里“哈佛帅男”才会屈尊 guys like Harvard Hottie only slum it when they're in college.
所以呢，与其任凭自己芳心暗许 So, instead of following my heart,
还不如努力获得Grayer的欢心 I focused on finding a way into Grayer's.
Grayer，别闹啦 Grayer, stop it.
#为何你我成不了朋友# # Why can't we be friends? #
想接近Grayer Befriending Grayer
显然不容易 certainly wasn't easy.
虽然麻烦不断，不过Margaret·Mead (美国女人类学家)再没来找过我了 La la la la la la!
But then again, Margaret Mead didn't run home every time
她染上疟疾了 - she contracted malaria. - Whoa!
你又有麻烦啦！ You're in trouble!
听起来这差事 I thought this job was supposed to be
没让你想清楚吧？ a way to get your head together?
两周就把你折磨得失落、沮丧 还似乎成了妄想狂 Two weeks in and you already sound depressed, dejected and paranoid.
你还忘了说营养不良呢 You forgot to mention malnourished.
告诉你都不信，他们成天就吃豆腐和 赛尔查水（一种德国矿泉水） I swear, all these people eat is bean curd and seltzer.
甚至连冰淇淋都是用豆腐做的呢 Ew.
那你要不要过来吃呢？ I mean, even the ice cream is made out of tofu.
So why don't you come down and have dinner with us then?
我的新室友正在做秋葵荚鸡肉汤呢 My new roomie's making gumbo.
不是鸡汤，是来自克里奥儿的鱼羹喔 It's not gumbo. It's Creole bouillabaisse.
我搞不懂 I don't get it.
你搬到城里，可突然间 怎么就成了"Will&Grace”的女主角 (一部展示纽约曼哈顿都市生活的情景喜剧) You move to the city and overnight your life becomes "Will & Grace."
就这样，我被困在这个 … I'm here, knee-deep in...
该死的，多半又是我老妈打来的 Shit. It's probably my mom.
我只敢告诉她电话 She's the only one who has this number.
那再见 Bye.
- 喂？ - 是Annie吗？ - Hello? - Annie?
- 嘿 - 老天 - Hi. - My God.
你都工作一周了还没给我打个电话 An entire week has gone by and you haven't called me back.
妈，我都给你说过工作会很忙嘛 Mom, I told you I was gonna be so busy with work.
拜托，你忙到都抽不出几分钟来 Oh come on. You can't find five minutes
给你担心得要死的母亲打个电话？ to call your worried mother?
亲爱的，过得如何啊？ How are you, honey?
工作还顺利吧？公寓没问题吧？ How's the job? How's the apartment?
老妈，一切都很好 God, everything is just perfect.
这工作简直让我难以置信 I mean, the job is a dream.
我的意思是，虽然对我有点挑战性 不过还是很值的 A little challenging. So rewarding though.
我住得也很好 And the apartment is just incredible.
- 真的吗？ - 而且我的室友好到不能再好 - Yeah? - And my roommate could not be nicer.
保姆，明天早上 Nanny, in the morning,
记得去蒂凡尼把X的表取回来 I need you to stop at Tiffany's and pick up Mr. X's watch.
还要去施乐公司取推荐信 Then I need you to Xerox the recommendation letters
要给Grayer做入学申请的 for Grayer's Collegiate application.
还有，我觉得Grayer的三餐里该加点法国菜 Also, I was thinking, we should introduce French food into his diet.
而且要多陪他练练法语，就明晚开始吧 It might enhance his study of the language. So tomorrow night,
而且你怎么不带他去圣雅克餐厅？ why don't you make him coquilles St. Jacques for dinner, hmm?
- Annie？ - 这个记得干洗啊 - Annie? - Dry cleaning.
谁在说话啊，你室友？ Who was that, your roommate?
老妈，不说啦，我还有一大堆工作要做呢 Mom, I have to go. I have some work stuff to take care of.
等一下，我想去你那儿看看 Wait a minute. I want to make a plan to visit.
安 … Ann...
嗨，大家好 Hi, ladies.
我今天大清早就带Madison去看医生了 So I took Madison to the doctor this morning.
都半年了，她只长了三英寸 She had grown three inches in six months.
你还要带她去看病？ You take her to the doctor too?
亲爱的，我得做很多事，我属于第三类的啊 Darling, I do everything. My job is a type C.
- 哎 - 第三类？什么意思啊？ - Mmm. - Type C? What's type C?
老天啊，好吧，新人 Oh Jesus. Okay, newbie.
亲爱的，注意记着，通常呢 Pay attention, honey. Basically,
保姆共分为三类，第一类呢，只需要 there's three types of nanny gigs. Okay, type A,
给那些白天上班晚上回家的母亲们 you provide "couple time" a few nights a week
一个安静的“二人世界” for women who work all day and parent at night.
第二类呢，你需要 Type B, you provide
给那些只有早晚陪伴孩子的妈妈们 "sanity time," every afternoon, right,
一个“清醒的下午” to a woman who mothers in the mornings and the evenings.
而最常见的第三类呢，就必须 And type C, the most common,
要帮那些既不想工作又不愿带孩子的妈妈们 you provide 24-7 "me time"
每时每刻的照顾 to the woman who neither works nor mothers.
那么，你是那一类呢？ So, which one are you?
第三类 I am type C,
毫无疑问，尽管开始还不知道 no question. Although when I started I had no idea.
以为这工作还有点意思，也不怎么难 I thought it would be a kind of fun and easy job.
你还以为大学毕业生 You'd think a college graduate
选择工作会理智点呢 would choose a job a little more wisely.
事实上，是迫于无奈 Actually, this job kind of chose me.
迫于无奈？ Chose you?
拜托，小姑娘，我背井离乡 Please, child. I left my country
是为了能让我儿子和多病的妈妈生活的好点 because I thought I could give my boy and my sick mother a better life.
我本该在这里最多待上两三年 I was supposed to be here two or three years tops.
可我在帮这些有钱人照顾孩子的时候 And while I've been raising these strangers' children,
我自己的小孩却根本没人管呢 my own child has grown up without a mother.
这才是迫于无奈 That's how this job chose me.
半汤匙的龙蒿叶 Half a tablespoon of tarragon.
那是干的，我要吃新鲜的 That's dried. I like fresh.
你不懂吗？我们只剩干的了，将就下吧 Well, you know what? Dried's all we got, okay, kiddo?
我讨厌这种菜，我要吃寿司 I hate coquilles dry. I want sushi.
那好吧，去告诉你妈妈 你对日本菜感兴趣啦 Well, then tell your mother you want to learn Japanese.
喔！ Mmm!
好了 Okay.
天哪！ Ah!
我要告诉我妈妈你又闯祸啦！ I'm telling Mommy. You're in trouble.
算了 Okay.
来点这个吧 That's it.
不要，妈妈说那里面全是 高甜度的玉米糖浆 No, Mommy says they're full of high-fructose corn syrup.
不让你妈妈知道不就行了，小报告王？ Well, what mommy doesn't know won't hurt her, okay, Mr. Tattletale?
来尝尝吧 Eat it. Go on.
舀一匙吧 Right out of the jar.
试试 It's okay.
- 很香吧？ - 很好玩 - Mmm. - Mmm.
- It's yummy, isn't it? - This is fun.
是吗？恩，没错，很好玩 Yeah? This is fun. This is fun.
那我们得为这顿有趣的饭保守秘密吧？ And this fun meal has to be our little secret, okay?
好吧 Okay.
谢天谢地 Okay.
我们还能玩点别的有趣儿的事喔 Hey, you know, we can do lots of fun things.
但你必须把我当个朋友来信任我 We just have to be friends and we have to trust each other.
- 行吗？ - 恩 - Okay? - Mmm-hmm.
或许该给你起个咱们才知道的名字？ Maybe you should have a secret name too?
- 你想要吗？ - 当然，我当然要啊 - You want a secret name? - Yeah, I want a secret name.
好吧 Okay.
贪吃王Bob怎么样？ How about Sponge Bob?
- 不要，听起来太蠢了 - 不好吗？ - No, silly. - No?
那么，换个别的 … Grover怎么样？ All right, what about... what about Grover?
Grover，我喜欢这名字 Grover, I love Grover.
真的？那我以后就叫你Grover啦 You do? All right. Grover it is.
我的小宝贝在哪儿啊？ Where's my little munchkin?
- 是爸爸！爸爸回来啦！ - 在吗？ - Daddy! Daddy's home. - Huh?
- 耶，爸爸，你可回来啦 - 我听到啦 - Yay, Daddy. Daddy's home. - I hear him, I hear him.
- 爸爸！ - 嗨，我回来啦！ - Daddy! - Oh, there he is!
我的天哪，让我看看 还是不是我的小魔鬼？ Oh my goodness, I'm sorry. Are you a little monster?
还记得下来我要做什么吗？ Remember what happens to little monsters?
- 快过来 - 不要嘛，爸爸！ - Come here for a minute. - No, Daddy!
忘啦？这么快就不记得啦？ You remember? What's wrong with you?
- 爸爸！ - 快过来吧 - Daddy! - Come here for a minute.
我要挠你痒痒啦，还记得吗？ You get viciously tickled. You remember that?
- 爸爸，受不了啦 - 是吗？好吧 - Daddy, stop it. - Huh? Hey.
- 你是我的超级小明星？ - 恩 - You my little superstar? - Yeah.
真的吗？你会掌握世界吗？ Are you? Are you gonna take over the world?
来，快告诉我，你会掌握世界吗？ Come on, answer me. You gonna take over the world?
- 恩 - 那会是什么时候？ - Yes. - And when are you gonna do it?
- 明年 - 明年可就迟啦 - Next year. - Next year's not soon enough.
打扰下，您就是X先生吧 我是新来的保姆 Well, you must be Mr. X. I'm the new nanny.
是吗，那你能让他今晚安静点儿吧？ Yeah. Keep him quiet tonight, will you?
我刚收购了一家公司 还有很多事要做 I've got a merger I'm working on.
还不知道今晚要到几点睡呢 I don't get some decent shut-eye tonight,
你就负责看好Grayar别来烦我吧 somebody around here's gonna be accountable.
爸爸，过来看看我的恐龙吧！ Daddy, come see my dinosaur!
- 爸爸还有事要做呢，宝贝儿 - 求你了 - Daddy's got work to do, buddy. - Please?
Grayer，别 … 别难过 Hey, Grayer, don't... don't be sad. It's okay.
你爸爸只是太累了 Daddy's just tired.
Grover Grover.
嘿，要不要继续来吃我们有趣的饭呢？ Hey, you want to finish our fun meal?
快来吧！ Come on!
恩 Yeah.
#两只老虎# # Fr猫re Jacques #
#跑得快，跑得快# # Dormez vous, dormez vous #
#一只没有耳朵一只没有尾巴# # Sonnez les matines, sonnez les matines. #
保姆？ Nanny?
怎么了，Grover？ Yeah, Grover?
你该不会也像Bertie一样会离开我吧？ You'll never leave me like Bertie, will you?
- Grover，你知道的 … - 你保证？ - Grover, you know I... - Promise?
恩，我不会离开你的 好吧，亲爱的？ I'm not going anywhere. You know that, right, honey?
好吗，Grove？ Right, Grove?
# Oh beautiful... #
亲爱的保姆 Dear Nanny,
别忘了今天是第四届“七月家庭会” please remember that today is the 4th of July family party
在我丈夫的公司里 at Mr. X's office.
要记得穿着那套套装 It probably slipped your mind that costumes are required,
我会自己去送些东西 so I took it upon myself to have some delivered.
- 这帽子让我不舒服 - 我也觉得，亲爱的 - This is itchy. - I know, sweetheart.
为什么我们要穿成这样啊？ Why do we have to dress up?
自由，Grove Freedom, Grove.
都是以自由的名义 It's all in the name of freedom.
大家好 Hey, guys.
- 那是谁啊？ - 亲爱的，是保姆 - Who is that? - That's the nanny, dear.
- 你见过她的 - 那Louisa呢？ - You've met her. - What happened to Louisa?
糊涂虫，那是上上个保姆 That was two nannies ago, silly.
- 是我 - 爸爸，我是George·Washington. - Yeah. - Daddy, I'm George Washington.
- 知道了 - 和我玩吧 - Okay. - Tickle me.
不，我知道是怎么回事 Dan，还不是那些家伙的销售不行了 No, I understand that, Dan, because the bastard's selling low.
- 来嘛！ - Grayer，别闹啦 - Please! - Grayer, come on, buddy.
别吵啊，先坐下 Cut it out, sit down.
- 恩，恩，我们就快到啦 - 不是说你，是我儿子 - Yes yes, we're coming. - No, it's just my kid.
- 我们就到啦 - 继续 - We're coming. - Right.
- 那个嘛，我就是这么想的 … - 你想让我打给 … - Well no, that's what I was thinking... - You want me to call...
- 我的卡呢！爸爸！ - 你的什么？ Where's my card! Daddy! - Your what?
我的卡没了！我要回家！ Where's my card! Oh, I wanna go home!
别不开心，Grove，我们要去参加聚会啊 Hey, smile, Grove. We're gonna go to a party.
才不是这个呢，我的在哪儿啊？ That's not my card. Where's my card?
你能不能先别打电话了 Would you get off that phone
而且告诉保姆去把他的卡拿来？ and tell the nanny to give him his damn card?
保姆吗？把车倒回去 Nanny? Turn the car around.
- 快叫保姆去取啊 - 保姆，去把Grayer的卡给他取来 - Talk to the nanny, please. - Nanny, go back and get the card.
别关电梯！ Hold the elevator!
对不起 … I'm sorry.
没事，至少这次我穿的很完整 It's okay, don't be. At least I'm fully dressed this time.
恩 … So...
我不是这个意思 I'm so sorry. It's not funny.
我没打算笑的 I don't mean to be laughing.
你看起来很爱国 You look very patriotic.
- 是啊 - 我来帮你按电梯吧 - Yeah. - Let me hit your floor.
噢，不用了，我还是自己来吧 Oh, that's okay. I got it.
我不能总想过去一样要别人帮我 Didn't grow up with the staff doing everything for me,
- 所以 … - 我也不会了 - so... - Neither did I.
是吗，那你曾经有段时间很难熬？ Really? You must have had it really rough then.
好啦，很高兴给你带来点儿乐趣 Okay, well, I'm glad to give you a good laugh.
我丈夫和我准备重度蜜月呢 My husband and I are taking our second honeymoon
去普罗旺斯 in Provence.
# When I dance they call me Macarena #
# And the boys, they say that I'm buena #
# They all want me, they can't have me #
# So they all come and dance beside me #
# Move with me, jam with me... #
我要找我丈夫，见过他没？ I'm looking for Mr. X. Have you seen him?
抱歉，没见过 No, sorry.
最好永远没见过 Wouldn't know him if I did.
#Macarena hey，Macarena … # # Macarena, hey, Macarena... #
Grove，怎么不跳啊？ 不晃晃你的战利品？ Grove, come on. What is wrong? Why won't you shake your booty?
因为我想大便 'Cause I have to make a doodie.
噢，快走 Oh. Come on.
嘿，Grover，卫生间好像是在另一面吧 Hey, Grover, I think the bathroom's the other way.
- 我爸爸的办公室里有 - 是吗？ - My daddy has one in his office. - Yeah?
- 我想去我爸爸那上 - 好吧 - I wanna go to my daddy's bathroom. - Okay.
- 天哪 - 爸爸怎么在挠那个女士？ - Oh. - Why is Daddy tickling that lady?
很抱歉 I'm sorry.
Grayer突然想上卫生间了 Grayer just had to use the bathroom.
尽管用吧 So use it already.
你好啊，Grayer，还记得我吗？ Hello, Grayer. Remember me?
我和你爸爸一起在芝加哥的公司工作呢 I work with your daddy in the Chicago office.
走开，我要去拉屎 Let go. I have to make a doodie.
好吧 Oh.
那么，你应该是保姆吧 So, you must be the nanny.
恩，是的，我 … Uh, yes, I...
我这就出去 … 我在走廊等 I'll get out of your... I'll wait in the hall.
很抱歉 So sorry.
Grayer，快点，你妈妈来啦 Grayer, hurry up. Your mom's coming.
亲爱的，Grayar收到那个学校的通知书没？ Sweetie, did Grayer hear from the waiting-list committee yet?
没呢，怎么了？ No, why?
没什么，但我听说 Oh, I'm sure it doesn't mean anything,
Bairds和Darwin已经收到了 but the Bairds did and Darwin got in.
别跟我丈夫提入学试或者是Darwin Please don't say anything about Collegiate or Darwin to my husband.
当然不会的 Sure.
- 嗨，亲爱的 - 你们在一起啊 - Oh, hi, pumpkin. - There you are.
之前在芝加哥你见过的，记得？ Oh, you've met before in Chicago, right?
- 的确，你好 - 很高兴见到你 - Yes, hello. - Lovely to see you.
- 我也是 - 抱歉，我要离开下 - Nice to see you as well. - Excuse me. Thanks again.
- 好的 - 你刚在哪儿啊？ - Mm-hm. - Where have you been?
打电话，吃的在哪儿？ Making calls. Where's the chow?
- 一直在打电话？ - 是啊 - The entire time? - Yeah.
很难理解人类的一夫一妻制 Male monogamy remains an elusive,
尽管有那么多的夫妻 yet much mythologized practice
还存在于这个世界 throughout the world.
在很多贝都因人的部落里 In many Bedouin tribes,
有能力的男人可以娶多个妻子 powerful men are encouraged to take multiple wives.
在同时代的法国 In contemporary France,
有情妇是必须的 mistresses are de rigueur
而且被毫无怨言的接受 and quietly tolerated.
而对于东方的上流社会 But for the women of the Upper East Side,
通奸被病态的忽视 adultery is pathologically ignored.
没人提醒我要去做康复治疗 Nobody warned me we were going to have a therapy session.
那还不是因为怎么都找不到你 It's just that I didn't see you at all at the party.
我是想溜回去工作的 Well, I was trying to sneak in a little work.
明白吗？我还不是为了我们这个家忙 Okay? Forgive me for making a living.
但其他人都参与了派对 But everybody else was participating.
别人可不会每年给我添乱 Everybody else doesn't pull down what I do every year.
我只要带我的家人出席不就够了 I had my family there and I was present and accounted for.
所以现在就让我清静会儿吧 So now, you know, I would really appreciate a moment of peace and quiet.
因为我实在是太累了 'Cause frankly, I'm exhausted.
你好，Pierre(法文) Bonjour, Pierre.
“你好” Bonjour.
你好吗？ Comment allez-vous?
非常好，谢谢 Bien, merci.
你呢？ Et vous?
马马虎虎 Ah, comme ci comme 莽a.
好吧，我想到一个好主意 Okay, I got a great idea.
我们假装现在是在山洞里 Let's pretend that we're in a cave.
你知道吗？保姆 You know what, Nanny?
什么？Grove What, Grove?
我最爱的人就是你 I love you best.
有一个保姆曾警告我 如果遇到这样的情景 The other nannies had warned me about this very moment,
此情景会让你有冲动打破 the moment when you'll be tempted to break
作为保姆所要遵循的主要原则 the cardinal rule of nannydom.
但当我凝望着这双大大的，悲伤的 充满期盼的眼睛 And yet, staring into those big, sad, searching eyes,
我根本控制不了自己 I simply couldn't resist.
我也爱你，Grove I love you too, Grove.
短短的三个字让接下来的工作更加困难 Three little words made leaving this job 1,000 times harder.
听着，这件事我必须得说！ ...hear a thing I have to say!
我知道你工作很忙，我只是想 … I know that you work hard. I just think
如果 … 如果我们能有更多孩子 that if... if we're gonna have more children...
或许你该把注意力放在 已经有了的这个孩子上 Well, maybe you should focus on the one you already have.
因为你连这一个都管不好 'Cause you can barely handle him as it is.
为什么你对我如此冷酷？ Why are you so cruel to me?
- 为什么！ - 为什么你这么绝情？ - Why? - Why are you so cruel?
因为我无法再忍受更多的压力！ Because I cannot take the additional pressure.
你知道吗？我决定到芝加哥去 You know something? I think that I am going to go out to Chicago
- 直到公司兼并结束 - 能不能请你别说了？ - until this merger is finished. - Will you stop it, please?
我十分希望你的心情能好起来 … And I certainly hope that you're in a better mood...
- 求你别说了 - 当我回来的时候，好吗？ - Please, stop it. ...when I come back. All right?
如果我还回来！ If I come back!
保姆，这是你的，对不对？ Nanny, this is yours, is it not?
呃 … 不是我的 … Uh... no, l...
不是的，我知道那是什么 no, I don't know what that is.
它在我们的洗衣房里 It was in our laundry.
它不是我的，也不是X先生的 It is not mine, it is not Mr. X's,
那肯定就是你的，不是吗？ so it has to be yours, right?
是不是？ Right?
是的，这是我的 Yes, it's mine.
请你以后别再把你的私人物品随处乱放 Please don't leave your personal items lying around the house again.
我 … 我不会了 l... I won't.
- 我保证 … 我很抱歉 - 我接受你的道歉 - I promise. I'm sorry. - Apology accepted.
我不是有意 … I don't mean...
成为一个有控制癖的人 to be a control freak.
只是 … 只是当X先生忙于一桩大生意的时候 It's... it's just that when Mr. X is in the middle of a big deal,
我也会变得神经兮兮 it can be very hard on me.
我能理解 I understand.
Grayer怎么样了？ How is Grayer doing?
Grayer？ Grayer?
他 … 他很好 He's... he's fine.
他非常好 He's great.
很高兴听你这么说 That's good to hear.
他是一个非常棒的孩子，不是吗？ He really is a wonderful child, isn't he?
他是最好的孩子 He's the best.
他 … 他这么可爱 … He's... he's such a sweet...
好了，那晚安吧 Okay, good night then.
亲爱的保姆，我知道今天是礼拜天 Dear Nanny, I know it's Sunday
而且你要求今天休假 and you requested a day off,
但我非常希望能好好睡一觉 but I desperately need to sleep in.
今天下午对我来说很漫长 I have a very long afternoon today
挑选慈善晚宴的食物 tasting caterers for our benefit,
为了挑出最合适的，所以别叫醒我 "Conga for the Congo." Please don't wake me
除非是X先生从芝加哥来电话了 unless Mr. X calls from Chicago.
还有，最重要的是 And most importantly,
找个方法让孩子安静点 find a way to keep the boy quiet.
为什么他们不索性给孩子的嘴贴上胶布？ Why don't they just muzzle the kid already?
什么是贴胶布？ What's a muzzle?
这是给你的炒鸡蛋 这是给孩子的麦片 Scrambled for you and Cheerios for the boy.
妈妈不让我吃甜麦片 Mommy doesn't allow me to eat sugar cereal.
这个麦片是无糖的 Cheerios are sugar-free.
低糖和无糖不是一回事儿 Low in sugar isn't the same as sugar-free.
Grover，吃了它 Grover, just eat it.
这含咖啡因吗？ Is that caffeinated?
妈妈从来不喝咖啡因 Mommy doesn't use caffeine.
那是因为你你妈妈每天中午才起来 That's because Mommy sleeps till noon.
或许今天早上是个好时机 Perhaps it might be a nice morning
让Grayer受些教育 to do something educational with Grayer,
比如说在古根海姆博物馆 有个毕沙罗个人作品展 like the Pissarro show at the Guggenheim.
妈妈说你会带我去她最喜欢的博物馆 Mommy said you're supposed to take me to her favorite museum,
古几海尼 the "Guggyheiny."
今天原本应该是我的休息天 Well, since today was supposed to be my day off,
所以我要带你去我最喜欢的 纽约自然历史博物馆 we're gonna go to my favorite, the Museum of Natural History.
- 它是不是在纽约的西区？ - 是的，那又这么样？ - Isn't that on the West Side? - Yeah, so?
妈妈不让我到西区去，这是规矩 I'm not allowed to go on the West Side. That's a rule.
不过今天恰好是“破例日” Well, today just happens to be break-the-rules day.
Oh.
你好，请给我两个 Hi. Two please.
你知道英文里最长的单词是什么吗？ Hey, you know what the biggest word in America is?
是什么？ What?
反对 … 反对教会与国家分开学说 (antidisestablishmentarianism) Anti... antidisestablishmentarianism.
你真厉害，Grove Hey, that's pretty good, Grove.
但事实上我知道一个更长的 Actually, I know a longer word.
- 没有更长的词了 - 不，有比它长的 - There is no longer word. - Yes, there is.
无话可说时的胡言乱语 (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious) Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious.
那是什么意思？ Wow. What does that mean?
我们进去吧，我再告诉你 Come on inside. Let me show you.
迷惑龙- - 更广为人知的名字是雷龙 "The apatosaurus, formerly known as the brontosaurus,
它是大型食草恐龙家族的一员 is from a family of enormous herbivores."
食草的意思就是素食主义 Herbivores means vegetarian.
像你妈妈一样，明白吗？ Like Mommy, you know?
那儿的是什么？ What's that over there?
那是霸王龙 That is the T-rex.
- 它也像妈妈一样吗？ - 可能吧 - Is that one like Mommy too? - Hmm.
我希望我的祖先有图腾柱 I wish my ancestors made totem poles.
他们当然有，那个人长得就挺像你 Well, they did. That one looks just like you.
确实很像 It does.
那个人有个很大的 … Well, that guy has a big...
它是挂着的 It's hanging.
真酷，他们是谁？ Cool. What are they?
这是一个马蒂斯人的家庭 They're a Matis family.
他们住在亚马逊 They live in the Amazon.
哪一个是他们的保姆？ Which one's the nanny?
她今天休息 他们那儿的生活和这里的很不同 She has the day off. Things are different in that part of the world.
还有，保姆，最后一件事 And Nanny, one last thing
在你享受余下的休息日之前 before you take the rest of the day off:
你是否可以帮我买点东西？ Do you think you could manage a quick shop for me?
- 我来帮你 - 不用了，我自己来，Grayer - I'll help. - No, it's okay, Grayer.
别动，Grayer，别动！ Don't. Grayer, don't... don't!
乱七八糟！ God!
妈妈！ Mommy!
瞧这儿乱成什么样了 What a mess.
真的，保姆 我不明白为什么你不把这些东西 Really, Nanny, I don't know why you didn't leave all this
放在楼下让Manuel去理 downstairs with Manuel to store.
我的意思是，难道晚宴开始了这些东西 还得乱糟糟的堆在这儿吗？ I mean, am I supposed to have this lying around the apartment till the benefit?
不是，当然不是，我现在就把东西拿下去给他 No no no, of course not. l... I'm gonna bring it down to him right now.
已经没时间了 There's no time now.
我要你为保姆解决冲突讨论会做些准备 I need you to get ready for the Nanny Conflict Resolution Seminar
这是家长联谊会的一部分 at the Parents' Society.
我完全忘了是在今天晚上 I totally forgot it was this evening.
呃 … Um...
X太太，我 … Mrs. X, I...
不知道你是否记得 don't know if you remember,
但是我 … 我今天晚上应该是放假的 but l... I was supposed to have the evening off.
所以我已经有安排了 And I made plans.
这个讨论会的宗旨 The entire point of the seminar
就是每个人都会带着自己的保姆来 is that everybody brings their nanny.
你的意思是说要我一个人去参加？ Are you suggesting I attend it alone?
呃 … 不是 Huh-uh. No.
我只是 … I was just...
我只是被搞糊涂了 I was confused.
不过，我会取消计划 So, I will cancel my plans.
很感谢你这么做 I'd appreciate it.
有没有人带了多余的尿布？ Does anyone have an extra diaper I can use?
别吃了！你这鼻涕虫 Stop eating them boogers!
Grayer，请把裤子穿回去 Grayer, no nudity. Please.
当然你们会觉得紧张 Of course you feel anxiety
当你们把孩子留给陌生人照顾 when leaving your kids with strangers.
你们是母亲，好了 … You're moms. Okay...
现在，我有幸 … now what I would love to do
请入所有的保姆们 is bring in the nannies.
Linda Gillian你们能照看下孩子们吗？ Linda, Gillian, would you mind monitoring the children
这样保姆就能到腾出空来 参加我们的讨论了 so that the nannies can join us in here?
好了，听着 我希望下个礼拜还能见到你们 Okay, listen, I want to see you all here next week.
这个讨论会的题目是 “性感妈咪，快乐妈咪” The seminar is called "Sexy Mom, Happy Mom."
绝对火爆 It's gonna be a hot one.
保姆们，我们准备好了 Nannies, we're ready.
女士们，这边走 Right this way, ladies.
好的，她们来了 … All right, here they are...
保姆们！太棒了，快请进来 the nannies! Wonderful. Come on in.
你们就 … 靠墙站着吧，挤一挤 Just... just file against this wall. Just squeeze in.
不过 … 让自己站得舒服点 But... but be comfortable.
太棒了！现在我们聚在一起 Terrific. Now that we're all together,
我想是时候说明举行这个讨论会的原因是什么 I think it's time to address the reason for this seminar:
为了促进保姆与母亲间的交流 improving nanny-mom communication.
讨论会的开始，我想请一个母亲自愿 To begin, I would like a mom volunteer
举一个具体的例子 to offer the group one particular example
来谈谈你和保姆间失败的交流 of failed communication with your nanny.
她们中许多人连英语都不会讲 Most of them barely speak English.
- 那确实是个问题 - 好的，你来说 - That's the problem. - Okay, you.
我的保姆不停地给Parkrer唱赞美诗 My nanny keeps on singing religious songs to Parker
即使我一遍遍的告诉她，我们是无神论者 even though I have told her time and time again that we're agnostic.
更糟的是每次我叫她别唱了 And what's worse, every time I confront her
她坚决否认，甚至在她看了 she flatly denies it, even after I provided her
我用隐藏摄像头拍下的证据后，她还要否认 with evidence from the Nanny Cam.
隐藏摄像头？我还以为是都市传奇 Nanny Cam? I thought that was an urban myth.
我的保姆就在那儿 That's my nanny over there.
能否请你问问她是不是 想让我的孩子该信宗教？ Will you please ask her if she's trying to convert my child?
对不起，现在我们只是听取意见 No. Right now we're just hearing issues.
好了，接下来我们来听听保姆们怎么说 Okay. Next I would like to hear from a nanny.
哪个保姆能自愿谈谈？ Can I have a nanny volunteer?
有谁愿意说？ Anyone?
请？ Por favor?
拜托，别害羞了 Come on, don't be shy.
我们不会吃了你们的 We won't bite.
好吧，你能讲一讲吗？那位小姐 Okay, how about you, young lady?
- 我？ - 是的，就是你 - Me? - Yeah, you.
你能和我们一起分享下你的抱怨吗？ Can you share with the group one particular grievance
你工作中可能会有的抱怨？ that you might have about your job?
来吧 Come on.
不，不，我 … 我爱我的工作 No no, l-l... I love my job.
我确实爱我的工作，我觉得自己很幸运 I do. I feel... I feel kinda lucky.
那真是太好了 Oh, that's very nice,
但这对讨论会毫无用处 but neither helpful nor productive.
所以能不能请你对大家说些有用的东西？ 说吧 So can you please offer the class something useful? Come on.
- 好吧 … - 继续说 - Well... - Yeah?
如果能有个晚上让我休假，我会很开心的 It would be nice to have a night off, I guess.
好的 Uh-huh.
我们 … 我们为慈善晚宴的事儿有点分心 We... we have been a little preoccupied with our benefit.
但她只要告诉我，我一定会同意的 But all she has to do is ask.
看见了吗？女士们 Uh-huh-huh-huh. See, ladies?
冲突解决了 Conflict resolved.
- 我来抱他 - 不，我抱着好了 - I'm taking him. - Oh no, I can take him.
- 不，没有关系的 - 不，我来 … 我来抱他好了 - No, it's all right. - No, I can... I can take him.
保姆，请你出去 Nanny, please. I want you to go out.
现在才9点，你很明显想要放松一下 It's only 9:00. You clearly wanted the evening off.
不 … 不，你肯定累坏了 我把他抱到床上去 No... no, you must be exhausted, let me put him to bed.
我会处理好的，给你 We'll manage fine. Here.
玩的开心 Have a blast.
我不明白 I just don't understand it.
我 … 我不明白一个人怎么可以拥有一切 l... I just don't understand how someone can have everything
但还是 … and still be...
如此痛苦 so miserable.
先不管这些了 … Anyway...
还记得我告诉你我去双性恋酒吧的事吗？ remember I was telling you I went to this orientation mixer thingy?
我遇到一个男人刚好也喜欢 … I met this guy who likes the same exact...
就好象她把她和丈夫的所有问题 都发泄到我身上 It's like she dumps all of her problems with her husband onto me.
这叫心理否认，知道吗 It's called denial. Okay, like the river.
而你明显已经成为她的教唆者 And you obviously have become her enabler.
什么？你这话是什么意思？ What? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
意思是 求你能不能有5分钟停止谈论这个女人了？ It means, can you stop talking about this woman for five minutes please?
我很抱歉我的话让你这么厌烦，Lynette 但现在这就是我的生活 Well, I'm sorry I'm boring you, Lynette, but this is my life right now.
我也有我的生活，只是你没有注意到 I have a life too, in case you haven't noticed.
而我认为你和那个女人 And I'm starting to think you and that lady
开始成为心灵伴侣了 are kindred spirits.
你知道吗？纽约大学应该立即把学位颁给你 You know what? NYU should give you your diploma right now.
- 因为你已经什么都懂了 - 好吧，好吧 - You've got all the answers. - Okay okay.
让我们忘了那些话，忘了它们 Okay, let's forget that... forget that.
我们能不能起码试着开心点？ Can we at least try to have a good time?
还因为你把我拽过了整整14条街 Since you did drag me above 14th Street.
恩 … Mmh.
别这样了，Annie，这个地方 Come on, Annie. This place,
你得承认，这儿有点 … you have to admit, it's...
恩 … 无聊 hmm, tired.
看看那儿坐着的几个男人 Look at these guys over there.
他们看起来无精打采的 They don't have any piercings,
连烟都不抽，我的意思是 … no tattoos. I mean...
我的上帝啊 Oh my God.
- 我们现在马上离开这儿 - 什么，为什么？ - We have to go right now. - Wha... why?
- 等一下 - 我和你说过的那个男人在这里 - Wait a minute. - The guy I told you about is here.
哈佛帅男？ Harvard Hottie?
- 是的 - 哪一个是他？哪一个？在哪儿？ - Mmm. - Which one? Which one, where?
那个带着扬基队帽子 穿着蓝色体恤的富家公子 Yankees cap, blue shirt, blue blood.
他看上去很不错 Mmm. He is gorgeous.
是的，好了，我们走吧 Yeah, okay, let's go.
不，不，不，你疯了吗？开玩笑 No no no, are you out of your mind? You kidding me?
不，我高攀不起，明白吗？ No, I'm out of my league, okay?
我们走吧 Let's go.
哦，当心 Oops.
你这是在干什么？ What the hell are you doing?
天哪，我认识那女孩，Annie！ Oh my God, I know that girl. Annie!
Annie！ Annie!
来吧，我们去和他们喝一杯 Come on, have a drink with him already.
我告诉过你，我不能在工作期间和人约会 I told you, I can't date on the job.
你想用工作作为所有事情的借口吗？ Are you gonna use this job as an excuse for everything or what?
和这个帅哥打个招呼吧 Say hello to the nice fella.
- 嗨 - 伙计们，这位是Annie - Hey. - Guys, this is Annie.
不好意思还不知道你的名字 I don't know your name. I'm sorry.
- 我叫Lynette - 你好，见到你很高兴 - Oh, Lynette. - Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you.
这些是我高中时的朋友 这是Carter，这是Jojo Some buddies from high school... this is Carter, Jojo,
- John，Kenny，Reggie - 你们好 - John, Kenny, Reggie. - Hello.
- 很高兴见到你 - 拉把椅子过来一起坐吧 - Nice to meet you. - Sit, grab a chair.
- 算了，我们不能 … - 我们很乐意 - Oh no, we can't. - We'd love to.
好的 Yeah.
那么，女士们，和我们说说 你们是怎么知道我们在这儿的？ So, girls, tell us, how do you know our boy here?
我真的不认识他，他是Annie的朋友 Oh, I really don't know him. He's Annie's friend.
我是在工作时认识他的 I know him from work.
真的吗？你是做什么工作的？ Oh yeah? What kind of work do you do?
模特吗？ Model?
- 空姐？ - 三陪？ - Stewardess? - Escort?
她为和我住一幢楼的一户人家工作 She works for someone in my building.
原来如此 Oh.
事实上，我是个保姆 Actually, I'm a nanny.
保姆？ A nanny?
老兄！ Dude!
你没告诉我们你还认识个保姆 You didn't tell us you knew a nanny.
真下流 That is so porno.
- 那户人家的女主人性感吗？ - 伙计们 - Are the moms hot? - Guys.
- 男主人觉得你性感吗？ - 或是你觉得男主人性感吗？ - Are you hot for the dads? - Are the dads hot for you?
- 别这样 - 你想知道关于男主人的事？ - Hey, come on. - You want to know about the dads?
那我就告诉你关于男主人的事 I'll tell you about the dads.
他们肥胖臃肿，秃头，满嘴肥油 They're chubby, bald, steak-eating,
还抽烟，整个就是一只猪 cigar-smoking, type-A pigs
他对股价的关心远远超过对火爆保姆的关心 who get more turned on by the Bloomberg Wire than they do by any hot nannies.
事实上，这就是你们5年后的样子 Actually, it's all of you in about five years.
记得这是我说的，晚上过得愉快 Enjoy tonight,
因为你们的前途看起来一片惨淡 because your future looks pretty fucking bleak.
- 别走 - 放开！ - Wait. - God!
我真蠢，我真蠢 Stupid stupid.
你有两条未读消息 You have two new messages.
嗨，Annie，是我 Hey, Annie, it's me,
那个 … 那个酒吧里的大混蛋 the... the big jerk from the bar.
- 什么？ - 听着 … - What? - Listen...
如果你想知道，是你的朋友Lynette in case you're wondering, your friend Lynette
- 把你家的电话号码告诉了我 - 不再是朋友了 - gave me your home number. - Ex-friend.
显然我要向你郑重的道歉 I obviously owe you a major apology.
请别把我和那些失败的朋友们混为一谈 Please just don't judge me by my loser friends.
- 恩 … - 我已经好好教训过他们了 - Mm-hm. - They were pretty hammered.
无论如何，希望你能给我一个机会 Anyway, I want you to give me an opportunity
我想带你出去逛逛，证明我是个好人 to redeem myself by taking you out.
我警告你，我不管你是否答应 And I'm warning you, I won't take no for an answer.
我知道你住在哪儿，必要的话 我会支着帐篷在你门口等着 I know where you live, so I'll camp out at your door if I have to.
你真的应该和我出去 You really might as well just get this over with.
如果这之后你还是很讨厌我 And if you really hate me after that...
我再也不会对你提任何要求了 I'll... I'll never ask you again.
好了，很抱歉我自言自语了这么久 但如果你不给我回电话 Okay, I'm sorry to ramble. If I don't hear from you,
我会一直待在电梯里直到遇到你 I'll ride the elevator till I find you.
再见 Bye.
真是糟透了 I am so screwed.
Annie，我是你妈妈 Annie, it's your mother.
听着，我很抱歉昨天晚上没有给你回电话 行了吗？ Look, I'm sorry that I didn't call last night, okay?
昨天我很晚才回家，但是关于今天晚上 … I had a really late night. But about tonight...
你知道吗？我不想听你的借口了 我要来看你 Okay, you know what? I don't want to hear it. I'm coming.
- 我要来看你 - 好的，你来吧 - I am coming. - All right, fine.
可以 … 好的，我会 … Fine... okay, let me...
我会在“玩耍聚会”结束后打电话给的，好吗？ let me just call you after this play date, okay?
玩耍聚会？这是什么东西？ Play date? What the hell is a play date?
- 该死的 - 你说脏话了 - Oh shit. - You said a curse!
呃 … 妈妈，“玩耍聚会”就是 Um, you know, Mom. A play date...
是初步投资方案会议 it's the meeting of preliminary investment schedules.
听着，我过会儿打电话给你，好吗？ Look, I'll call you later, okay?
好的，再见 All right. Bye.
谁住在这儿？ Who lives here?
一个叫Jefferson的孩子 Some kid named Jefferson.
他是你妈妈从公园大道的“玩耍聚会” 服务处找来的 Your mom found him with the Park Avenue play-date service.
嗨，你们好 Hi, y'all.
我是Jefferson的妈妈Tanya I'm Jefferson's mama Tanya.
进来吧 Come on in.
我们正在烤蛋糕 We're baking a cake.
我的上帝啊 Oh my God.
来吧，孩子们 Come on, y'all!
我表面上是Jefferson的保姆 I pretend to be Jefferson's nanny.
但我实际上是雇来看着她的 But I was really hired to watch her.
哟嗬！ Yoo-hooo!
自从她嫁给Betty·Ford后一直都是这个样子 And this is what she's like after Betty Ford.
- 噢，噢！ - 她丈夫难道不在乎吗？ - Oh! - Doesn't her husband care?
- 嗬！ - 他已经75岁了，她以前是个脱衣舞女 - Whoo! - He's 75. She's an ex-showgirl.
他对什么都逆来顺受 He's not complaining about anything.
太有趣了！耶！ Frosting fun! Yay!
我想每天都能来这儿 I want to come here every day.
嘿！ Hey.
你来这儿干什么？ What are you doing here?
你这是怎么了？ And what is all over you?
Annie你能告诉我到底发生了什么吗？ Annie, will you tell me what the hell is going on?
好的，听着，这是我的公寓 All right, listen up, people. This is my apartment.
我的室友不在 And my roommate Lisa is away
出差去了 … on... on business.
你 … 刚好来看我 You are... oh, just visiting.
- 他是 … - Lynette的新男友 - He is... - Lynette's new boyfriend.
- 好的 - 我喜欢你的朋友 - Fine. - I love your friends.
我们在玩的是什么神奇游戏？ What twisted game are we playing here?
我们在玩的是我的妈妈来访 We're playing the my-mom-is-coming-over-
如果她发现我是个保姆我就玩完了的游戏 and-if-she-finds-out-I'm-a-nanny- then-I'm-screwed game.
我喜欢这游戏！ 我是不是该给你妈妈做个奶酪火锅？ I love it. Hey, should I whip up a fondue for Mom?
恩 … 你知道吗？如果要我说的话 Um, well, you know what? If you're gonna play it straight,
我会说烘肉卷更好，这件借给我了 I would make it meatloaf. I'm gonna borrow this.
那是我的裙子，你不能借走它 That's my dress. You can't borrow that dress.
那裙子很丑 It's a terrible dress.
奶酪火锅？去把我的裙子拿回来 Fondue? Go get my dress.
Calvin，非常感谢，这看起来很美味 Oh boy, Calvin. Thank you so much. That looks delicious.
整桌菜看起来都很隆重 It's so festively presented too.
那么，你是怎么遇到Lynette的？ So, how did you and Lynette meet?
是Annie的室友Lisa介绍我们认识的 Annie's roommate Lisa introduced us.
真可惜她今天没在这儿 It's a shame she's not here.
我以前和她约会过 I used to date her too.
真的假的？ Really?
那么 … So...
你喜欢Annie的新住处吗？ don't you just love Annie's new place?
- 恩 … - 我们很喜欢 - Mm-hm. - We do.
我们整天待在这儿 We're here all the time.
是的，我觉得这儿非常 … 非常有意思 Yeah, I think it's very... very interesting.
- 看起来有点小，不过 … - 恩 … - It's a little small, but... - Mmm.
… 作为过渡的住处挺不错了，亲爱的 ...it's a fine steppingstone, honey.
是同事，我去接一下 It's work. I'll take that.
她的工作一直都这么忙 Well, certainly keeping her busy.
- 非常忙 - 是的 - Very busy. - Mm-hm.
- 大忙人 - 工作真残酷 - Busy bee. - Relentlessly.
- 夜以继日 - 你好？ - Round the clock. - Hello?
这不是雷龙，你什么都不懂 This isn't a brontosaurus. You don't know anything.
Grayer！别闹了！ Oh, Grayer! Please!
现在你该练瑜伽了 而且妈妈正在打电话 It is yoga hour and Mommy's on the phone.
你好？ Hello?
你好，是我 Yes, hi. It's me.
我 … 我知道我同意你 l... I know that I agreed to let you
今晚去医院看望你的外婆 visit your grandmother in the hospital tonight,
但是我认为应该提醒下你 明天是Grayer的生日 but I feel I need to remind you that tomorrow is Grayer's birthday.
什么？怎么可能？ 他的生日聚会在下个月 What? How can that be? His party isn't until next month.
那是我们特意安排的 Well, we scheduled it that way on purpose
因为我想要的聚会设计师没空 because the party planner I wanted wasn't available.
而且我的丈夫也没有空，不过事实是 Neither was my husband. But as it turns out,
X先生要从芝加哥回来住两天 Mr. X is coming home for two days from Chicago,
所以我们计划要举行一个小型的家庭聚会 so we're planning a small family celebration.
那真是太好了，这是给Grayer最好的礼物 Oh that's lovely. Grayer couldn't ask for a better gift.
在这之后，我们要去拜访Carlyle And then afterwards, we'll all head over to the Carlyle
作为朋友间的礼尚往来 for a more formal affair with friends.
我很希望你能参加 Obviously, I do expect you to attend.
好的，当然 Okay, all right.
所以你必须穿得正式点 So you will need to dress appropriately.
- 好的 - 总之 … - Right. - Anyway...
你不在的这段时间里 since you are not around to help,
- 所有事情都得我一个人处理 - 妈妈，来和我玩吧！ - I've taken care of everything. - Mommy, play!
谢谢 Thank you.
还有，这儿有一大束玫瑰是给你的 Also, some roses arrived for you.
- 玫瑰 - 是啊，好奇怪 - Roses? - Yes, very curious.
卡片上写着，“接收道歉吧 The card says, "Accept my apology,
不然我就要 … ” or else."
哦，是我疯狂的外公寄来的 Oh, that's crazy Grandpa.
他 … He...
他昨晚没去看我外婆 he didn't visit Grandma last night
所以我们逼他做出补偿 and we just let him have it.
你知道的，Grayer对花粉过敏 Well, you know how Grayer is around pollen.
我得把这些花扔出去 So, I'll have to throw them out.
- Annie？ - 嗯，好的 Annie? - Oh, okay.
呃，你知道的，我得 … Well, you know, I am going to...
我得挂了，起搏器出问题了 hang up because the pacemaker isn't on.
明早见 So I'll see you in the morning.
天哪 Oh gosh.
- 亲爱的 - 嗯？ - Honey? - Yeah?
- 你还好吧？ - 是的 - Are you okay? - Mm-hm.
好到不行 Perfect.
来点甜点吗？ Dessert?
这很重要你知道吗？ This is of vital importance, are you aware of that?
我现在没那个时间 I don't think right now is the time.
你根本搞不清我现在有多烦 You have absolutely no idea how disappointed I am.
小丑不是应该很好玩吗 Clowns are supposed to be funny.
呃，他们是法国小丑，Grove Well, they're French clowns, Grove.
我讨厌他们 我讨厌过生日 I hate them and I hate my birthday.
… 就为了你那些烂事！ ...in order to clean up your mess!
别再来烦我 Do not interrupt me.
你说过，保证在入学前一年 Now you told me that the extra year of preschool
把他培养得出类拔萃 would guarantee him a spot.
今天他满6岁了，你进展如何呢？ Today he's six. What's your plan now?
我马上就回来 I'll be back, okay?
我们应该冷静下来 We should try to be calm.
我哥的孩子已经入学了 My brother's kids got in.
… 那还不算耻辱，我没法忍受 ...that isn't enough of a humiliation. I will not tolerate
- 此时此刻 … - 小丑在那表演呢 - at this point... - There are mimes in the next room.
- 你能不能声音小点？ - 你知道吗？ - I suggest you keep your voice down. - You know what?
嘿 Hey.
天哪你怎么会在这？ What the hell are you doing here?
你为什么把我送的花扔了？ I want to know why you threw my flowers away.
我在楼梯间找到的 I found them in the stairwell.
不是我扔的好不好 我那个疯狂女主人干的 I didn't throw them away, okay? My lunatic employer did.
你要是再不离开这 她就要连我一起扔了 And if you don't get out of here right now, she's gonna throw me out too.
- 走吧 - 除非你答应跟我约会 - Okay? - Not until you agree to see me.
什么？咱们到此为止吧 What? This has got to stop.
拜托，只是个约会 我的要求很简单 Come on, one date. That's all I'm asking here.
好好好，星期四下班以后 快走吧 Oh, fine fine, okay? After work on Thursday. Go go.
保姆 Nanny.
在我们动身去Carlyle之前 Before we head over to the Carlyle,
我想提醒你 为什么X先生这么生气 I would like you to know why Mr. X is so upset.
Greyer没有通过入学考试 It seems that Grayer was rejected for admission to Collegiate.
呃，我很遗憾 Um... I'm very sorry.
- 确实很令人难过 - 不是难过 - That must be upsetting. - Not upsetting.
是根本无法接受 Unacceptable.
够了！ Stop it!
- 你们走！ - 哦，亲爱的 Get away from me! - Oh, sweetheart.
别害怕 他们只是小丑 Don't be afraid. They're only clowns.
- 我讨厌他们 - 这些法国小丑人很好哦 - I hate them. - They're nice French clowns.
我怕他们！ They scare me!
Grayer，到你妈妈那去 Grayer, go to your mommy.
- 我不 - 去你妈妈那儿，Greyer - Huh-uh. - Go to your mommy, Grayer.
- 去 - 我不要 - Go. - No.
快过去，亲爱的 Go on, sweetheart.
我说过，保姆 As I was saying, Nanny,
我们觉得你没有花上 足够的时间 we feel that you are not spending enough time
对我的儿子进行学前教育 on educational activities with our son.
所以我们决定找一位咨询师 Therefore we have decided to hire a consultant
来处理目前这种状况 to fully research the situation.
你这周可能需要抽点时间 … He will demand extra time from you this week...
只要是为Greyer好都行 Whatever's best for Grayer.
那就这周四晚开始吧 ...starting Thursday evening.
你有没有给孩子念过 华尔街日报？ Do you read to the child from "The Wall Street Journal"?
那金融时报呢？ Granta(英国著名文学杂志)呢？ "Financial Times"? "Granta"?
我 … 我有给他唱法文歌 l... I sing to him in French.
看来我们要多花点时间 Well, we need more time than I thought
来彻底解决这个问题 to get to the bottom of this.
我知道 我迟到了很久 I know. I know, I'm very very late.
不好意思 你收到我短信了吗 I'm sorry. Did you get my message?
六条全收到了 - Yep. All six of 'em. - I couldn't get out of work.
咨询师一直在啰嗦个不停 太恐怖了 The consultant kept me forever. It was horrible.
好吧，我定的座位没了 Yeah, well, not only did I lose the reservation,
厨房也关门了 那我们 … but the kitchen is now closed. So...
好吧，很抱歉我迟到了 Okay. I'm sorry I was late.
嗯，有时候事情难免 Um... sometimes these things just...
进展不顺利，是不 don't work out, okay?
喂喂喂，等等 Wait, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.
你就这么把我给踹了？ Think you can just get rid of me that easily?
不不，我没有想甩开你 No, it's not about getting rid of you.
这么晚了到处都关门了 It's just that no place around here stays open this late. That's all.
我知道个很不错的地方 Actually, I know the perfect place.
很棒对吧？ Pretty good, huh?
上东区最好吃的披萨饼 Number one slice on the Upper East Side.
还行 It's not bad.
这么跟你说吧 跟新泽西海岸那边的差远了 I'll tell you what though... it doesn't touch the Jersey Shore.
既然你对披萨这么挑 Well, if you're such a pizza connoisseur,
意大利哈林姆那边有一家 there's a really great place in Italian Harlem.
什么时候我带你去尝尝 I'll take you there sometime.
哈林姆？ Harlem?
无法想像你也会去那种地方 I have a hard time imagining you in Harlem.
为什么啊 我喜欢在这个城市到处转 Why? I enjoy exploring my city.
你也该跟我一样多转转 Something you should probably do more of.
谢了 Oh, thank you.
我无暇分身 忙着收拾Greyer的呕吐物 I'll try to squeeze that in between cleaning up Grayer's vomit
还要区拿X太太的衣服 and picking up Mrs. X's laundry.
得了吧，既然这份工作这么糟 干吗不辞了 Come on, if your job is that bad, why don't you just quit?
难道你能由此走向你的事业 I mean, it's not like you're on a career path here.
搞不懂你 I don't understand.
你当然搞不懂了 No, of course you don't understand.
你有令人艳羡的生活 You've obviously lived a very charmed life
在第五大道长大 在哈佛念大学 growing up on Fifth Avenue. You went to Harvard.
令人艳羡？ A charmed life?
好吧 Okay. Now I get it.
我来告诉你吧 You know, for your information
我四岁的时候母亲就去世了 my mother died when I was four.
我父亲一天到晚要出差 My father traveled constantly for work.
我们家为我请过九个保姆 I was raised by nine different nannies
后来我长大了 终于可以去上寄宿学校了 until I was old enough to get shipped off to boarding school.
这就是我令人艳羡的生活 That's how charmed my life was.
- 真对不起 - 你知道吗 - I'm really sorry. - But you know something?
我认为我还是长成了一名 “青年才俊” I still think I turned out to be a pretty decent guy
在经历了这一切之后 in spite of it all.
我真是个烂人 I guess I'm officially an asshole.
呃 Well...
说“烂人”有点过了 asshole is a pretty strong word.
最多就是有点“差劲”吧 I would have gone with jerk or bonehead.
这是人家教我的 But that's just my prep school upbringing.
我也不知道 我也想辞了这份工 I don't know, you know, I just... I would love to quit.
想是这么想 I really would, but l...
可我不能不管Grayer I can't leave Grayer.
我做不到 I can't.
你可能觉得我疯了 You're gonna think I'm totally crazy,
其实我自己也这么想 but I feel really bad for her also.
你觉得我疯了对吧 Do you think I'm crazy?
我看你现在是患上 Well, you know, you could be suffering from
斯德哥尔摩症候群了 (又称人质情结，指被害者对罪犯产生情感 甚至反过来帮助罪犯的一种情结) Stockholm Syndrome.
- 知不知道Patty·Hearst？ (美国最著名的绑架案受害者) - 你在开玩笑吧？ - You ever heard of Patty Hearst? - Are you kidding?
是的 Yes.
不过我觉得你现在应该让我吻你一下 But I do think you should probably let me kiss you right about now.
什么？ What?
呃 … Well...
再过两个街区就到家了 we're two blocks from your building.
再往前走，我就得保持距离了 And once we get any closer, I won't be able to go near you.
说实话 Which, to tell you the truth,
自从那天看到你 我就一直在想接近你 is all I've really thought about since that day
你穿着那身国旗装 I saw you in that Betsy Ross getup.
那衣服简直怪死了 That is really kinky and weird.
才没有呢 You don't know the half of it.
晚安 Good night.
- 今晚很愉快哈？ - 嗯 - Pleasant evening. - Yeah.
晚安 Good night.
好的 Uh-huh.
当心 … Look out for the...
不好意思 Sorry.
进行田野工作时 While doing field work,
人类学家往往会迷失在 anthropologists have been known to lose themselves
他们所研究的社会群体中 in the very society that they're studying,
所谓的入乡随俗 a phenomenon known as "going native."
一旦发生这种情况 When this occurs,
正确的解决之道就是 赶紧撤离 the proper course of action is to remove oneself
越快越好 ASAP.
和哈佛帅男谈过以后 After my night with Harvard Hottie,
看来很明显 it became quite obvious
我对X一家的放不下 正意味着上述情况发生了 that my obsession with the Xs meant I'd gone native.
那天在公园里瞎想之后 Daydreaming in the park that day,
我得出以下结论 I came to the conclusion that the only right thing to do
我要和X太太谈谈 was confront Mrs. X...
辞职的事 and quit.
我都忘了还有这一件了 Oh, I forgot about this.
哇，这件不错 Wow. This could work.
嗯 Mmm.
找条短点的项链 See if you can find me something short.
跟这件领口配一点的 It'll go better with this neckline.
好的 Okay.
哦 Oh.
这是Grayer送的吗？ Did Grayer get you this?
老天 God.
我10岁时买给我母亲的 I bought this for my mother when I was 10.
她很生气，不肯戴 说这条太普通了 She got mad at me, refused to wear it. She said it was common.
我还留着它，是因为恨我妈 I think I saved it out of spite.
那这条呢？ How about this?
X先生在我们第一个结婚纪念日送我的 Mr. X bought it for me for our first wedding anniversary.
今晚戴刚刚好 So it's only fitting that I should wear it tonight,
是吗 right?
当然 Definitely.
X太太，我想跟你说点事情 Mrs. X, I need to talk to you about something.
我知道你今晚很忙 I know you're really busy tonight,
那可不可以安排个时间 so I was wondering if we could schedule some time
- 明天晚上来谈 - 什么事，保姆？ - tomorrow night to talk. - What is it, Nanny?
我 … 我想我们还是单独谈好点 l... I think it's better if we talk alone.
什么事情？ What is it?
保姆，来帮下忙 Nanny, lend a hand.
怎么样？ Well?
你简直美呆了 You look amazing.
- 真的吗？ - 你好漂亮，妈妈 - Really? - You look very pretty, Mommy.
穿迪奥不会很夸张哈？ And... and you like the Dior?
我意思是 虽然只是吃个晚饭 I mean, I know it's a little much for dinner,
但晚饭后他要 but afterwards he's taking me
带我去Met参加总统的私人聚会 to the President's Circle Gala at the Met.
穿这身很适合 Well, I couldn't imagine a more perfect dress
结婚纪念日这种浪漫场合 for a romantic anniversary.
我等不及让我老公看见了 All I need now is my husband.
我刚打电话去机场问过 I just called the airport.
从芝加哥来的航班没有任何一个 晚点或是取消的 There wasn't a single delay or cancelation out of Chicago
那么 … so...
他现在能在哪儿呢？ Where can that man be?
保姆，打电话给La Grande Nuit饭店 Nanny, call La Grande Nuit
- 就说我们晚点过去 - 快起来 - and tell them we're running late. - Come on.
我可不想没有位子了 I don't want to lose the reservation.
这个饭店名字是le开头的还是 la开头的呢 Is it "Le Grande Nuit" or "La Grande..."
或者是les？ "Le... Les"?
可能是la I think it's "La."
谢谢，小机灵鬼 Thanks, smarty-pants.
- 你好？ - 啊，是我 - Hello? Uh yeah, it's me.
听着，我这儿快没信号了 Listen, I'm losing cell service here.
我要你找到我太太跟她解释说 I need you to find my wife and explain to her
我的航班取消了 that my flight was canceled.
既然我星期天晚上就要回来 Uh, and since I'm gonna have to be back here Sunday night,
我干脆就在芝加哥过周末了 I'm just gonna spend the whole weekend in Chicago.
- 不行，不行 … - 一定记着跟她说我很抱歉 - No no no... - Make sure to tell her I'm sorry.
不，不行，X先生你不能这样 她 … No no no, Mr. X, you can't do this. Look, she...
保姆，谁打来的？ Nanny, who was it?
他说什么了？ What did he say?
嗯 … Um...
他说 … he said that...
他的航班取消了 his flight was canceled.
还有 … And...
他说他非常非常的抱歉 and he's very very sorry.
那个包一定要放在最上面 Make sure you put that one on top.
我可不想弄皱任何一件衣服 I don't want anything to wrinkle.
妈妈，你去哪儿？ Mommy, where are you going?
妈妈，别走！ Mommy, don't go!
别，Gray … 别这样Grayer 别 … 别捣乱 No, Gray... no, Grayer. Don't... don't be difficult.
妈妈要离开几天去散散心 Mommy has to go away for a few days to get some rest.
保姆，我决定要离开几天 Nanny, I've decided to take a few days off.
我会去Lenox市的峡谷农场的水疗中心 I'll be at the spa at Canyon Ranch in Lenox.
- Maria知道怎么联系我 - 噢天啊 - Maria has all my numbers. - Oh God.
保姆，咱们能上去了吗？ Nanny, can we go upstairs?
我有点儿难受 I feel funny.
天哪！ 这么快就到了华氏104度？(摄氏40度) Oh my God! How did this come on so fast? 104?
天啊，怎么办 Oh my God, oh my God. Okay okay.
宝贝儿，躺下，你还好吗？ Honey, come here. You okay?
对不起 I'm so sorry.
没事儿，没事儿，好了 That's okay, that's okay. All right.
等等，这样不行 Okay, wait. No.
嗨，Lynette，我是Annie 听着，你得帮帮我 Hey, Lynette, it's Annie. Listen, I need your help.
Grayer，烧到了104度 Grayer has a temperature of 104
还吐得到处都是，屋子里没其他人 and I have vomit all over me and there's nobody here.
天啊，你打电话给他妈妈没？ God. Did you call his mother?
我打了，她正在做什么该死的水疗 Yes, I called his mother. She's at some friggin' spa.
我留了三条口讯她都没回 I left three messages and she won't call me back.
我都不知道该怎么办了 I don't know what to do.
或者，我该不该带他去急诊什么的呢？ I mean, should I take him to the emergency room or something?
- Annie，我也不知道 - 我 … - Annie, I can't answer that. - I...
你有没有认识的医生 Do you know a number of a doctor
我能打电话过去咨询一下 或者护士呢？ I could call for advice, or a nurse even?
我当然认识一位护士 Of course I know a nurse.
你妈妈 Your mother.
保姆？ Nanny?
Lynette我待会儿再打给你 Lynette, I have to call you back.
怎么了，宝贝儿？怎么了？ What is it, sweetheart? What's wrong?
我想要妈妈 I want my mommy.
我也想啊 Me too.
怎么样了？ How is everything?
烧退了 His fever's down.
但他可能得喉炎了 But I think he's got the croup.
蒸汽能帮着疏通他的气管 The steam should help open his passages
顺利的话还能帮他止咳 那样他就好睡了 and hopefully it'll ease up his cough and he can get some rest.
有 … 有什么我能做的吗？ Is... is there anything I can do?
关上门就行 Just close the door.
没事儿了 He's okay now.
他好多了 Much better.
太谢谢你了，天啊 Oh, thank you, God.
但是，你明早还该带他去看医生 Even so, you should bring him to the doctor in the morning.
医生得给他开点药 He's probably gonna need a prescription.
好的 Okay.
妈妈，我 … Hey, Ma, um...
我 … 我不知道，怎么 … l... I don't know how to...
感谢你来这儿帮我 … thank you for coming here, and helping...
为什么要对我撒谎，Annie？ Why'd you lie to me, Annie?
我从来没对你撒过谎 I have never lied to you.
从来没有 Ever.
我知道 I know.
只是 … I just...
妈妈，我再也受不了了 Oh, Mom, I couldn't handle it anymore.
- 我不知道该怎么办了 - 什么？ - I just couldn't handle it. - What?
你到底不知道什么？ 你年轻，你聪明 What couldn't you handle? You're young, you're smart,
你充满朝气 你眼前摆着大好前程，一片光明 you're energetic. You got this incredibly bright future ahead of you.
妈，就是因为太光明了，好吧？ It was too bright, Ma. All right?
我只是 … 只是，我要 … 我要逃离这一切 I just... I just, I got... I had to get away.
就是给人家当保姆？ And do this?
你到底明不明白？ 我每上一个夜班 You understand? Every night shift I worked,
每多加一个小时的班班 every overtime hour I accepted,
都是为了让你能过得比我好 I did it because I wanted something better for you than I had.
保姆！太好了，你还没睡 Nanny! Good, you're up.
放那儿就行了 Just leave that there.
听着，那个水疗真是糟透了 So listen, the spa was just awful,
水中渣滓四处横流 totally overrun with suburban riffraff.
然后我正在做身体护理的时候 And then in the middle of my body scrub,
我先生打电话过来了，你猜怎么着 Mr. X called and believe it or not,
下周他要带我们去楠塔基特岛度假 he wants to take us all to Nantucket next week.
所以我想我该提前结束然后回来 So I figured I might as well cut my trip short and...
这是谁？ Who's this?
我是Judy I'm Judy.
她是我妈妈 It's my mom.
保姆，你可从来没说过你有个妈妈 You never mentioned you had a mother, Nanny.
嗯 … Um...
我妈妈是个护士，她是来帮我的 my mom's a nurse. She came over here to help me.
Grayer病得非常非常重 Grayer's been very very very sick.
- 我打过电话给你了 … - 他在哪儿？ - I tried calling you... - Where is he?
他 … 他现在睡下了 Well he's... he's sleeping now.
那他就没那么严重，是吧？ Then he can't be that sick now, can he?
听着，你能快点儿打开我的行李 So listen, could you quickly unpack my luggage
把所有东西都拿去洗了好吗？ and just put everything in the laundry?
我累坏了，我先生明早九点前 就要见到我们 I'm exhausted and Mr. X is expected sometime before 9:00.
明早见 I will see you in the morning.
对了，很高兴见到你，Julie Oh, very nice to meet you, Julie.
是Judy Judy.
你什么时候不当保姆了 再给我打电话 Call me when this phase of your life is over.
我真想冲着她的背影大吼一通 I desperately wanted to yell out after her,
但这就像 在那些可怕的噩梦中一样 but it was like one of those awful dreams
想叫也叫不出来 where I had no voice.
我的愿望本是 做一名生活的观察者 My desire to be an observer of life...
但实际上我却离生活越来越远 ...was actually keeping me from living one.
很明显，那女的是魔鬼 Clearly, the woman's heinous.
你不干就是了，就那么简单 You gotta quit. It's just that simple.
不行，好吧？我试过 I can't, all right? I tried.
要是我给你提供一个 很有诱惑力的机会呢？ What if I made you a tempting offer?
我要去南安普顿我爸那儿一个月 I'm gonna go to my father's house in Southampton for a month.
我要好好考虑一下 我是不是真的适合读法律 I've got to take some time, figure out if law school is really right for me.
干嘛不和我一起呢？ Why don't you join me?
咱们彼此好好了解一下 Do a little soul-searching.
我们可以把整幢房子当做自己的 一分钱都不用花 We'd get the whole house to ourselves... won't cost us a cent.
我们去海边散散步，喝喝红酒 We'll walk on the beach. We'll drink red wine,
烤烤鲜鱼 grill fresh fish.
听起来像到了天堂 That sounds like heaven.
但要是这个假期 不能挽救他们的婚姻怎么办？ But what if this vacation can save their marriage?
我要是现在不干的话 我会毁了它的 If I quit now, I'll ruin it
还会伤Grayer的心 and break Grayer's heart.
那我的心呢？我什么都不是吗？ What about my heart? Do I count for anything?
答应嘛，答应我 Come on, say yes.
跟我去安普顿玩个痛快 Be young with me in the Hamptons.
别和那些怪人去楠塔基特 Don't go to Nantucket with the weirdoes.
好吗？ What do you say?
一点儿机会都不给我，是吧？ Not a chance in hell, is there?
- 我知道了 - 别这样，我又没说不跟你去 - I can take a hint. - Come on, I didn't say no.
但是你也没答应啊，不是吗？ You weren't exactly screaming yes though, were you?
我不明白你到底是无私呢 I'm starting to wonder if you're really selfless
还是有点儿自私 or just a little self-obsessed.
谢谢，真谢谢你了 Thank you. Thanks.
我要走了 I have to go.
听着，要是你改变主意的话 我的邀请还算数 Listen, if you change your mind, my offer stands.
我们要去楠塔基特咯 我们要去楠塔基特咯 We're going to 'Tucket. We're going to 'Tucket.
猜猜还有什么？ 我会得到一条小狗狗 Guess what else? I'm getting a puppy.
噢！ Oh!
我的天啊！ Oh my God!
爸爸，爸爸，我的小狗狗呢？ Daddy, Daddy, where's my puppy?
正在车里等着你呢，小子 Been waiting for you right up in the car there, sport.
- 这多好啊？ - 嗯 - Isn't it wonderful? - Mmm.
咱们家的度假拖得太久了 A family trip has been long overdue.
嗯，听着，我不想在Grayer面前 说这个 Mmm, listen, I didn't want to say anything in front of Grayer,
但事实上，我只能待几天 but the truth is, I can only stay for a few days.
他们催我回芝加哥催得可紧了 They're really pushing me to finish up in Chicago.
你不是说真的吧 You can't be serious.
你不能把我们孤零零的留在这岛上 You're not gonna leave us on this island alone.
好吧，这个咱们以后再说 Okay, we'll talk about it later.
# But I'm moving on #
# I'm gonna be your number one #
# I'm not the kind of girl #
# Who gives up just like that #
你好 - # Oh no-o-o-o... # Hi.
我是Annie 最近都没接到你的电话 It's Annie. I haven't heard from you in a while.
你大概在南安普顿吧 You're probably in Southampton,
我只想让你知道 … but I just wanted to let you know that...
我手机在这儿没信号 my cell phone doesn't work here.
要是你想打给我的话 … So if you wanted to call...
要是你想的话 if you wanted to call,
- 你也许 … - 保姆，快来！ - you probably have the number... Nanny, hurry up!
知道这个号码 但我还是再给你说一遍好了 ...already on your cell phone, but I will give it to you
以防万一，号码是508 … just in case. It is 508...
- 你好？ - 噢 Hello? - Oh.
- 怎么，你好？ - 你好，是保姆吗？ - What, hello? - Hello, Nanny?
- 怎 … - 我要用电话 - Wha... - I need to use this phone.
- 现在就要 - 好的，抱歉 - Immediately. - Okay, so sorry.
- 噢，天啊 - 保姆，我们去沙滩上 - Oh God. - Nanny, we're going to the beach.
当我长大了，我要有足够的钱 When I grow up, I want enough money
建一座真正的城堡 to build a real castle.
记住，Grove，钱买不到爱 Just remember, Grove, that money can't buy love.
但妈妈说她付钱给你 而我是爱你的 But Mommy pays you money and I love you.
惊喜，惊喜，亲爱的 Surprise surprise, dear.
- 妈妈？ - 天啊，你又长胖了 - Mother? - My, you've gotten portly.
奶奶，你好 Hi, Grandma.
你来这儿干什么？ What the hell are you doing here?
问你老婆，她请我来的 Ask your wife. She's the one who requested I come.
- 亲爱的，我 … - 其实我根本就不需要邀请 - Darling, l... - Not that I need an invitation.
这是我的房子 It is my house.
我只想要妈妈来听好消息 I just wanted your mother to be here for the news.
好消息，是什么？ 这到底是怎么回事儿？ News, what news? What in the hell is going on here?
我又怀孕了 I'm having another baby.
绝对不可能 ...virtually impossible.
你到底想要什么？ What exactly do you want?
现在我妈来了，我不能回芝加哥了 And now my mother is here so I can't go to Chicago.
多糟糕的一周啊！ One lousy week!
知道吗？你是个惹人烦的女人 You know something? You are an infuriating woman.
你绝对是！ You really are!
这就是你不参加淑女舞会的代价！ That's what you get for rejecting debutante season.
谁问你了，婊子 Who asked you, bitch?
你能帮我照顾孩子们一会儿吗？ Can you look after the kids for a minute?
我是这儿唯一的保姆 我去上个厕所就回来 I'm the only nanny here. I just have to use the restroom.
好吧 Hmm.
快去快回，亲爱的 我看到最后一章了 Make it snappy, dear. I'm on the last chapter.
噢，万分感谢 Oh, thanks a million.
噢，你真漂亮 Oh. You look gorgeous.
听着，你得给我点儿 关于保姆的建议 Listen, I need some nanny advice.
- 好的 - 实话告诉你 - Okay. - To tell you the truth,
我不知道最近她是怎么了 I don't know what's gotten into her lately.
我装了个监视摄像头 Well, I installed a Nanny Cam.
很快就能真相大白 So we'll soon see the truth.
可能是时候该辞退她了 It might be time to let her go.
我又看到了一颗 I saw another one.
许个愿吧，Grove Make a wish, Grove.
愿妈妈，爸爸，你，还有我的小狗狗 I wish we could stay in 'Tucket forever,
我们能永远待在楠塔基岛 Mommy, Daddy, you and my puppy.
Grove？ Grove?
知道吗 … You know I...
我不会永远做你的保姆的 I'm not gonna be your nanny forever.
我不能 I can't be.
但并不代表我不能一直做你的朋友 That doesn't mean I'm not gonna always be your friend.
什么，这个破冰箱里居然没有橙汁？ What, there's no OJ in the goddamned shit-shack?
噢，我正要做点儿的 Oh, I was just about to make some.
嗯 Mm-hm.
Grayer呢？他起来了吗？ Where's Grayer? Isn't he up yet?
昨晚他睡得不好 Um, he had a little trouble sleeping.
所以 … So...
浓缩汁？你开玩笑吧 Concentrate? You have got to be kidding me.
我那么有钱还喝不到鲜榨的？ 不会吧 All my money and I can't get fresh-squeezed? Come on.
橙子在派对上都吃完了 Uh, we used it all at the party, so...
嗯 Hmm.
那么，咱俩为什么不一块儿 去一趟市场 Well then, why don't you and I take a little trip to the market
买点儿回来呢，啊？ and get us some, huh?
我现在不在，请在哔一声后留言 I'm not in right now. Leave it at the beep.
# Be the new one, burn to shine #
# I take the blue ones every time #
# Walk me down your broken line #
# All you have to do is cry #
# Yes, all you have to do is cry #
# All you have to do is cry. #
- Grayer呢？ - 和他奶奶在一起 - Where's Grayer? - With his grandmother.
我能问问你刚才去哪儿了吗？ And where, may I ask, have you been?
嗯 … Um...
- 我只想让自己清醒一下 - 那你清醒了吗？ - I just had to clear my head. - Did you?
我猜你那些反常的行为 I imagine your unacceptable behavior
和大厦里的那男孩儿有关 has something to do with that boy in the building.
保姆 Nanny.
别把我当小孩儿 I wasn't born yesterday.
这周他打过几次电话了 He called several times this week.
他打来过？为什么你不告诉我？ He called? Why didn't you tell me?
我想我忘了 I suppose I forgot.
绝对是为了你好 It's really for your own good.
你真以为你能配得上他？ He's a little out of your league, don't you think?
绝对不会有好结果的 It couldn't possibly end well.
这样下去绝对不行 Clearly this isn't working out.
我先生叫了一辆出租车 送你去坐船 Mr. X has arranged for a taxi to take you to the ferry
到了后那边会有辆车来接你 and then for a car to pick you up on the other end.
求你不要 … 求求你别这么做 Please don't... please don't do this.
不是 … 不是为了我自己 为了Grayer Not... not for me, but for Grayer.
直到你和你先生和好如初 Not until you and your husband work your problems out.
你好大的胆 Don't you dare.
你个蠢 … 你这个蠢人 You stupid... you stupid girl.
说的好像你有多了解我的生活 As if you know anything about my life.
好像你有多了解这个世界 As if you know anything about the real world.
我只有一百的 All I got's $100.
这样吧，等你回来接我妈的时候 All right, you know what? Just give me the change
再找我钱 when you come back for my mother at some point, okay?
你留10块钱就当是小费，好吧？ Keep 10 bucks for yourself, all right?
保姆 … Nanny...
这儿是你这段时间的工资 here's your final payment.
但愿我们回去的时候 I expect you to have all your things
你已经收拾好所有东西离开了 out of our apartment by the time we come back.
把钥匙交给门卫就行 Just leave the keys with the doorman.
Grayer，你该睡午觉了 Grayer, I think you should take a nap.
我真是困极了 I'm certainly ready for one.
保姆！你去哪儿？ Nanny! Where are you going?
- 保姆！ - Grayer，Grayer - Nanny! - Grayer. Grayer.
- 保姆！ - 不准去 - Nanny! - Stay here.
- 拿去 - 你干什么？ - Here. - What are you doing?
- 拿走，拿走 - 什么？ - Take it, take it. - What?
我可受不了它的叫声 而且Grayer还太小了 I can't tolerate the yapping. Grayer's too young anyway.
- 保姆！ - Grayer - Nanny! - Grayer.
- 保姆，别走！ - Grayer，亲爱的 … - Nanny, don't go! - Grayer, sweetheart...
保姆，别走！ Nanny, wait!
- 保姆！ - Grayer！ - Nanny! - Grayer!
保姆，别丢下我 Nanny, don't leave me.
保姆！ Nanny!
Grayer Grayer.
什么？ What?
去，狗狗，去便便 Go ahead, puppy, do your business.
想拉在哪儿就拉在哪儿 Anywhere you like.
乖狗狗！ Good puppy!
监视摄像头，监视摄像头 藏在哪儿呢？ Nanny Cam, Nanny Cam, where are you hiding?
我爱你 I love you.
你好 Hola.
嗯 Hmm.
在这儿！ Aha!
好吧，夫人，想要监视我？ Okay, lady, you want Nanny Cam?
那我就给你看，“发狂的保姆” I'll give you "Nannies Gone Wild."
接下来就是 我生平最激烈的一次抗争 And this is how the most significant confrontation
对象是 … in my life...
一只泰迪熊 happened with a teddy bear.
在我的调查活动突然终断之后 After the abrupt termination of my field work,
我花了点儿时间 I took some time to make sense
把我的所见所闻整理了出来 of all that I had witnessed.
在这期间 During this period
我读到，一些人类学的批评家说 I read that critics of anthropology believe
只是观察一种文化的话 that just by observing a culture
你不可避免的会去改变它 you inevitably change it.
- 哼！ - 噢！嘿，站住 - Mm! - Ow! Hey.
当我无数次想起Grayer时 In the many times that I thought of Grayer,
我都暗暗地希望那些批评家们 … I secretly hoped those critics...
都是对的 were right.
这是我上一个非常差劲保姆的录像 This is a tape of my latest nanny disaster.
毫不夸张的说，她非常有问题 She was extremely problematic, to say the least.
她总忽略Grayer She neglected Grayer.
她酗酒，甚至还勾引我先生 She drank. She even flirted with my husband.
最后因为她对住在我楼上的 一个男孩的不检点行为 I finally had to fire her
我不得不辞退了她 for promiscuous behavior with a boy in the building.
这段录像，记录了她 This videotape shows her feeding my child
把花生酱和果冻从罐子里 直接喂给我儿子吃 peanut butter and jelly directly from the jar.
我记得这个保姆 You know, I remember this nanny.
她有着很古怪的态度 She had a very peculiar attitude.
我们看看 Let's watch.
要去楠塔基岛了，很兴奋吧？ You excited about going to Nantucket?
是啊 Yes.
那么，干嘛不闭上眼睛 Okay, well, why don't you close your eyes
就可以梦用沙子做成城堡了呢？ and you can dream about building sand castles?
- 我爱你，保姆 - 晚安 - I love you, Nanny. - Good night.
我肯定拿错带子了，我没看过这盘 This must be the wrong tape. I've never seen this one before.
没关系，继续看看 会有我们想看的 It's all right, just let it play out. We'll get to something good.
噢！麻烦来了 Oh! It's a problem.
大麻烦 Big problem.
好了，X太太，现在该教你一些 简单的带孩子的规则了 Okay, Mrs. X, now it's time for a few simple child-care rules.
这下可好，泰迪熊被发现了 Oh, all right. The teddy bear has been compromised.
在你孩子面前摔门，一点儿不好 Slamming the door in your kid's face is not okay.
多花时间 在你素昧平生的孩子身上做慈善 Spending more time on a benefit for kids you've never met
而不是在你自己的骨肉身上 一点儿也不好 than you do with your own blood is not okay.
儿子高烧104度还去做水疗 Going to a spa when your son has a fever of 104
还不接电话 and not answering emergency calls,
让你真真正正的成为了一个 不称职的母亲 that officially makes you an unfit mother.
太过分了，关了录像 This is outrageous. Stop the tape.
不，很显然这是个满腹怨气的保姆 Uh, no, this is clearly a disgruntled nanny.
我们 … 我们也许能 从里面学到点什么 We... we might have something to learn here.
是啊，我理解你们做头发和 水疗按摩的时候 Yeah, I know that you're really busy with your hair appointments
真的抽不开身 and your Watsu massages
你们想永葆青春好让你们丈夫 不会抛弃你们心情，我也理解 and your attempts to stay young so your husband won't leave you,
我倒有个办法 … 为什么不和你们的孩子 but here's an idea... why don't you try eating dinner with your child
偶尔一起吃顿饭呢？ every once in a blue moon?
还要提醒你们一点，女士们 And a head's up here, lady.
偶尔还是笑笑吧 要不人人都讨厌你们！ Try smiling once in a while. People hate you!
对于你，X先生 As for you, Mr. X,
你以为你是谁啊？ who the hell are you?
也许你现在也在这么问我 Maybe you're asking the same about me.
我知道你只关注我的屁股 I know you've noticed my ass,
而根本不认识我是谁 but you probably don't recognize my face,
那么我提示你一下，好吧？ so here's a little hint, okay?
我就是那个养你儿子的人 I'm the one who's been raising your son.
Grayer不是累赘 Grayer is not an accessory.
他可不是他妈妈随便从哪儿 订回来的东西 His mother didn't order him from a catalogue.
你的儿子和你的妻子 Your son, your wife,
是 … 是 … are... are...
你的家人 are people in your home,
他们是渴望你 human beings who are drowning in their desire
渴望你 … 渴望你的关注的人 for you to just... for you to look at them.
知道吗，事实上 我不愿你们俩任何一个受伤害 You know, the truth is, I don't wish either of you harm.
不为别的 If for no other reason than you having
只因为你们是Grayer的父母 the profound privilege of being Grayer's parents.
Grayer爱你们 Grayer loves you.
他 … He...
不在乎你们穿什么，买给他什么 he doesn't care what you're wearing or what you buy him
或者是能进什么样的学校 or what school he gets into.
他只想 … 只想要你们俩 He just... he just wants you there.
就是这样 That's it.
随着他一点点儿的长大 And time's running out,
他不会一直那么毫无保留的爱你们 and he won't love you unconditionally that much longer.
所以 … So...
为了你们好 for your own good,
别错过了解他的机会 don't miss out on getting to know him.
他是 … 他真的是 He is... he's truly
一个很了不起很棒的小家伙 an amazing amazing little person.
失陪了 Excuse me.
请便 Of course.
再见 Buenas noches.
对于女人来说，生存在这个社会 要艰难得多 It's a much tougher game out there for women.
自然对我们耍诡计 Nature deals us some tricky cards.
你理解起来困难吗？ Is that so hard for you to understand?
不难 No.
妈妈，我也不知道，只是 … I don't know, Mom. I just...
那我也想你是不会去搞金融了吧？ So I guess you're not going into finance?
我不觉得，有钱就能让人活得更轻松 I don't think that having money makes it any easier.
知道吗，我现在明白了 You know, I know that now.
没关系 It's okay.
你的人生你决定 It's your life.
就我来讲，我觉得你 做了个错误的决定 Personally, I think you're making a big mistake.
但这是你的人生 But it is your life.
我只想让你过得幸福 I want you to be happy.
嗨 Hey.
- Hayden - 噢，对了 - Hayden. Oh, that's right.
我忘了介绍，他叫Hayden I forgot to mention his name is Hayden.
当我最终接受他时 And once I finally let myself say it,
就深陷其中，不能自拔 it was a habit that was pretty hard to break.
还 … 还挺不错的 It is... it's going pretty good actually.
奖学金比我想的要多 There's more scholarships out there than I thought.
为什么你这么迟呢？ So why are you so late?
因为，我有些东西给你 Because I have something for you.
来自你的前雇主 It's from your former employer.
什么？ What?
她在12层叫住我 She cornered me on the 12th floor,
她觉得我能比她先找到你 figured I could get to you before she could.
我不想读这个 I don't want to read this.
- 那我来读给你听吧？ - 好吧 - Why don't I read it to you? - Okay.
亲爱的Annie … "Dear Annie...
我们有好几个月没见过了 It's been several months since we've spoken.
即便如此，你在录像中说的话 也每天都浮现在我脑海中 Even so, the things you said on that tape haunt me every day.
现在回头看看，我不知道该说什么 And now looking back, I don't know what to say
除了感谢 … except thank you...
- 还有抱歉 - 还有抱歉 - and I'm sorry." "And I'm sorry.
你说得很对 You were so right.
在所有让我重视的东西中 Grayer是最重要的 Of all my privileges, Grayer is my greatest.
我非常需要有人给我指出这点 I desperately needed someone to show me that.
而你做到了 You did.
就为这个，我欠你整个世界 And for that, I owe you the world.
你可能会也可能不会觉得惊讶 You may or may not be surprised
我离开了我丈夫 to learn that I've left my husband.
别直接从罐子里吃 Not out of the jar.
尝尝嘛 Try it.
任何让我绝望到 Any man who made me feel desperate enough
要假装怀孕才能留住的男人 不值得我去争取 to feign a pregnancy wasn't worth fighting for.
好吃吧？ Isn't it good?
好吃 Yeah.
真好吃 Yeah, it is good.
所以我很肯定将来 So I'm pretty confident that in time
我们会相处得不错 we'll be getting along just fine.
真的很好吃 Yeah, it's really good.
很好吃 It's really good.
请相信我愿你一切安好 Please know that I wish you all the best in life.
- 诚挚的 … - 诚挚的 … - Sincerely..." - "Sincerely...
Alexandra Alexandra.
另外 … P. S...
很高兴Grayer现在每天每夜 I'm happy to report that Grayer asks for you a little bit less
吵着要你的时候 比以前少一点儿了 every day and every night."
- 别这样 - 好的 - Come on. - Okay.
我们走吧 Let's get out of here.
今晚我和我爸去看纽约队的比赛 Catching the Yankees game with my dad tonight.
- 真不错 - 是啊 - Sounds wonderful. - Yeah.
人类学家中间有个流行的说法 There's a popular belief amongst anthropologists
一个人要完全投入一个陌生的环境 that you must immerse yourself in an unfamiliar world
才能完完全全了解自己 in order to truly understand your own.
我得走了 I've probably gotta get going soon actually.
晚上见，好吗？ See you later tonight, okay?
好的 Yeah.
当然好 I certainly hope so.
最后 In conclusion,
我希望这份实践日志 能对考核我进入研究生院的老师 I hope this field diary has been illuminating
有一定的启发 for those considering my application to graduate school.
因为它真的对我启发很大 It certainly has been for me.
# Oh yeah #
在糊里糊涂的当了一个暑假的保姆之后 After a lost summer of being Nanny,
我终于认清了我自己 I finally got to know Annie.
多亏一个叫Grayer的小男子汉 Thanks to a little man named Grayer,
我只需跨过哈德逊河 I only had to trek across the Hudson River
就完成了这项惊人的发现 to make this most amazing discovery.
- # I won't let you down # - # Freedom #
- # I will not give you up # - # Freedom #
# Have some faith in the sound #
# You got to give what you take #
# Freedom #
# I won't let you down #
- # Freedom # - # So please don't give me up. #
# Wake up one morning #
# You realize #
# Your life is one big compromise #
# Compromise #
# Stuck in the job you swore was only temporary #
# Was only temporary #
# Yeah #
# Feel like the world is passing you by #
# Doo-doo-doo doo-doo #
# Never done all the things you wanted to try #
# Stuck in one place #
# Got a pain in your face #
# From all your stressin' out, all your stressin' out #
# All your stressin' out #
# Hey, you ask yourself #
# There's got to be more #
# Than what I'm living for #
# What I'm living for #
# You ask yourself there's got to be #
# Something else #
# Something more, more #
# More, well, let the sun shine #
# On your face #
# And don't let your life #
# Go to waste #
# Now is the time #
# Got to make up your mind #
# Let it shine on you #
# Feel like there's nothing, nowhere to go #
# Doo-doo-doo doo-doo #
# You try and fight but you can't let go #
# Of all the pain, got so much to gain #
# Now is the time #
# Mm-hmm #
# You ask yourself #
# There's got to be something else #
# Something more, more, more #
# Let the sun shine #
# On your face #
# And don't let your life #
# Go to waste #
# Now is the time, got to make up your mind #
# Let it shine on you #
# You ask yourself, there's got to be #
# More than what I'm living for #
# What I'm living for, what I'm living for #
# You ask yourself, there's got to be #
# Something else, something more #
# More, more #
# Well, let the sun shine #
# On your face #
# And don't let your life #
# Go to waste #
# Now is the time #
# Got to make up your mind #
# Let it shine on you #
# Let the sun shine #
# On your face #
# And don't let your life #
# Go to waste #
# Now is the time #
# Got to make up your mind #
# Let it shine on you #
# Let the sun shine #
# On your face #
# And don't let your life #
# Go to waste #
# Now is the time #
# Got to make up your mind #
# Let it shine on you #
# Let it shine on you. #